http://www.yesican.org/chat.html
Schedule - PST (Pacific Standard Time)
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PURPLE♡HEARTS 4 BUTTERFLIES✞ We are a Women's Faith-Based, on-Line Support Group for Women Survivors of Domestic, Sexual and Child Abuses-For ALL women of faith- Together, we form a Beautiful Mosaic of various colors, Like the Butterfly- and together with God's strength in our weaknesses, we can and WILL- Fly Freely! Fly Free with God, Free to be who you really are... Free like the Beautiful Mosaic Butterfly!
Showing posts with label domestic violence. Show all posts
Showing posts with label domestic violence. Show all posts
Tuesday, August 9, 2011
Facilitated Chat Room on "Yes ICAN Network"- break the cycle
Awesome place to check out for online chatting with other survivors!
http://www.yesican.org/chat.html
http://www.yesican.org/chat.html
Thursday, July 14, 2011
Friday, May 20, 2011
Denial IS our Enemy!
It's frustrating for me when I talk to Domestic Violence Victims when they are in denial and just won't talk about it or admit it's happening. They say "He was tipsy or sick or had a bad day or I don't have it that bad, it's only been one time" and "he didn't mean it".
I remember thinking like this myself. Coming from a marriage that was active in the ministry, there wasn't anyone I could even tell what was happening behind the closed doors. How do you call the police on a so-called "minister"? I didn't want to give the "church" a "bad name". Plus it would be so humiliating and embarrassing. I could just hear the people say it's my fault. I'm "making him mad", " I'm not submitting as a Christian wife should be". Plus those were "his" words to me as it was.
He said, "you are the ONLY one in the world who gets me to get this mad". So it was all me.
I remember my mother saying those words too. In fact I still hear those words. It's like I "married" the man version of my mother. Oh the stories I could tell!! And one day I will, somehow in a book.
I've "talked" about my childhood many times, but always it gave me more and more resentments, anger and bitterness". But I've wished I could really learn forgiveness. Meaning, when I talk about it there's no anger with it". I have recently been entering that realm! I have empathy and compassion now regarding my childhood. But how to work that toward's my once married life and to those others- men and women who abused me sexually and verbally? The pain can still be very much there. I know God wants me to be completely honest and quit saying lightly "oh that's over and done with. I forgve them". No, in the depths of my heart and soul I haven't. When I go to that place I feel hatred, anger, evil anger, and spitefullness. Although I've said Ii forgive" but that was just the starting work towards forgiveness. I havent continued in the healing process. So I too walk the road of denial- IF I am being completely honest with MYSELF and God and you. How can I love and really help others WELL if those feelings which bring on negative behaviors are there? The bible says we really can't.
I've learned the pass 6 years since looking into the violence I grew up with, sexual abuses, rapes, boyfriends "taking me" when I clearly tell them I want to "wait", or "not ready", even when I would "finally give in" just because I was tired of the constant pushing me or talking about it, just for it to be so violently rough? To the point I'm screaming in pain, saying no more, but of course they don't listen to my voice, (My whole life people didn't "listen" to my words) to the point I nearly died! It was so rough it ripped through my stomach lining!- the doctor told me after I barely made it to the hospital. The times I would tell my minister husband that I wasn't feeling like I am "me" anymore, but more like a "slave" instead of a person with liberty in Christ. A woman of God. Who was I anyways? On the outside people saw us as that pretty, good -looking Christian couple and "good" family, but once in the car, or in the house, the ugly person emerged. He would say my "body is his body and I have no say in denying him or else it's my fault if he goes to find it elsewhere"
As a child I remember crying and praying, why God, why am I here on this earth? What is the point or reason for me to be here? To just be a breathing punching bag? Just a body to hurt?
Then I marry a man who became a minister and he turned out to be basically the same way, only now it's sexual abuse on top of the verbal, physical and emotional!
Today, I am a much stronger woman inside. I have self esteem today. I believe in myself now and that is because I believe, only due to me trusting in God my true loving Father, to guide me to the right, healthy-minded and Christ-minded and spiritually- minded counselors/women survivors, and who understand the "after affects" (PTSD) of living in abusive and traumatic homes, families, schools and friends, the affects to our minds, emotions & behaviors. There's not a whole lot out there that I've found anyway. But I just kept/keep praying and trusting God to lead me.
It hasn't been easy by far! I thank God so much that He guided me to the 12 Steps as well. They really opened my eyes to really know God, understand His Bible and how to apply it to my life- just one day at a time; just for today- only! I do my best everyday to follow the concepts and traditions suggested within the 12 Step community ( which is all in Gods word, just made so simple and slowly learning I can do them) and the Bible believing/Faith in my Lord Jesus community/fellowship.
Everyday I'm receiving healing in some area of my life! There's a saying I read "what you love is what leads you". So if I love to hang out with the wrong people for me, that is what leads me. But if I choose to hang out with like-minded, God loving people that will lead me. I didn't say "they" but "that", that lifestyle.
I also KNOW that being alone, without any distractions (men) for quite a few years has made a huge difference!
I guess I'm "catching up" on things I could of learned probably in my older teens to 20's if I relied on God fully and stayed away from ALL those many distractions I turned to instead.(of God)
Recently, I have been blessed to actually meet a large Christian family that I am around daily, who are REALLY walking the talk. They actually follow Gods word and lifestyle. From the 91 year old grandfather/father to the great grandchildren! I really never thought there actually were people like this in the modern world I live in -Welcoming, accepting, non-judgemental, caring, non-yelling, non-cussing, non-drinking, non-smoking, non-arguing, truly loving family; sort of similar to the "Waltons" only up to date, current with today. There is a pleasant peace I never have felt. There's not jealousies, no "I made it better than you", no " I have a house or better house/car than you", not "I'm skinnier or prettier than you". Just humble working Christian people!
I have prayed and dreamed for this for years.
I always would feel like I'm so different compared to other! I would feel like "I don't fit in anywhere"- for real I didn't. But here with them, I fit!
God is showing me that there really are people out there that LIVE Godly, good, humble, clean, non-judgmental, truly caring and loving, respecting one another people, (their family members to each other), and never have done the things that can harm the body or mind. The respect each member gives to to mother and father! (in 90's) and the next generation down to the next generation- it's very amazing to me. I just have not ever seen this. Or it was phoney. This shows me people CAN live well, and happy with their families without verbal, emotional, physical and spiritual abuse!
By God allowing me to be lead to this family to observe it is little by little helping me to start to trust "Christians". Which I haven't fully since my minister ex-husband abandoned me and our children, as well as his family abandoning us also. I've never given up on God. Just been "leary" "cautious"(probably overly cautious) of people who say they are Christians or "spiritual". Gosh I have to say MEN in general too! (but there was a year or so there I just "didn't care about who I was with - Looking back now I see this, I didn't then)
Now, lately, I actually feel like I actually matter in this world. I'm not "just a body" to hurt in every which way. I have skills, talents, abilities, and I was created to find this out! To LOVE God, and accept His only Son, Jesus into my heart and life, and too really rely on Him for my every need. Turn my "will" over to Him.
I'm like a free and beautiful "giving" Butterfly who has not worry for his life. He just is. And while he's on this earth, he "gives" out joy and love to people. That is our purpose in life. To Give out God's joy, love and beauty to all, and to simply love and trust in Him.
He can and will help you, mold you into the better people you want to be and can be, the better person I want to be. God loves us and only wants what's best for us, and we get that by trusting in Him, and by us picking up our feet and follow Him. Love Him. Let "what we love lead us". Let that love be the one true source of love- God the creator of us!
I remember thinking like this myself. Coming from a marriage that was active in the ministry, there wasn't anyone I could even tell what was happening behind the closed doors. How do you call the police on a so-called "minister"? I didn't want to give the "church" a "bad name". Plus it would be so humiliating and embarrassing. I could just hear the people say it's my fault. I'm "making him mad", " I'm not submitting as a Christian wife should be". Plus those were "his" words to me as it was.
He said, "you are the ONLY one in the world who gets me to get this mad". So it was all me.
I remember my mother saying those words too. In fact I still hear those words. It's like I "married" the man version of my mother. Oh the stories I could tell!! And one day I will, somehow in a book.
I've "talked" about my childhood many times, but always it gave me more and more resentments, anger and bitterness". But I've wished I could really learn forgiveness. Meaning, when I talk about it there's no anger with it". I have recently been entering that realm! I have empathy and compassion now regarding my childhood. But how to work that toward's my once married life and to those others- men and women who abused me sexually and verbally? The pain can still be very much there. I know God wants me to be completely honest and quit saying lightly "oh that's over and done with. I forgve them". No, in the depths of my heart and soul I haven't. When I go to that place I feel hatred, anger, evil anger, and spitefullness. Although I've said Ii forgive" but that was just the starting work towards forgiveness. I havent continued in the healing process. So I too walk the road of denial- IF I am being completely honest with MYSELF and God and you. How can I love and really help others WELL if those feelings which bring on negative behaviors are there? The bible says we really can't.
I've learned the pass 6 years since looking into the violence I grew up with, sexual abuses, rapes, boyfriends "taking me" when I clearly tell them I want to "wait", or "not ready", even when I would "finally give in" just because I was tired of the constant pushing me or talking about it, just for it to be so violently rough? To the point I'm screaming in pain, saying no more, but of course they don't listen to my voice, (My whole life people didn't "listen" to my words) to the point I nearly died! It was so rough it ripped through my stomach lining!- the doctor told me after I barely made it to the hospital. The times I would tell my minister husband that I wasn't feeling like I am "me" anymore, but more like a "slave" instead of a person with liberty in Christ. A woman of God. Who was I anyways? On the outside people saw us as that pretty, good -looking Christian couple and "good" family, but once in the car, or in the house, the ugly person emerged. He would say my "body is his body and I have no say in denying him or else it's my fault if he goes to find it elsewhere"
As a child I remember crying and praying, why God, why am I here on this earth? What is the point or reason for me to be here? To just be a breathing punching bag? Just a body to hurt?
Then I marry a man who became a minister and he turned out to be basically the same way, only now it's sexual abuse on top of the verbal, physical and emotional!
Today, I am a much stronger woman inside. I have self esteem today. I believe in myself now and that is because I believe, only due to me trusting in God my true loving Father, to guide me to the right, healthy-minded and Christ-minded and spiritually- minded counselors/women survivors, and who understand the "after affects" (PTSD) of living in abusive and traumatic homes, families, schools and friends, the affects to our minds, emotions & behaviors. There's not a whole lot out there that I've found anyway. But I just kept/keep praying and trusting God to lead me.
It hasn't been easy by far! I thank God so much that He guided me to the 12 Steps as well. They really opened my eyes to really know God, understand His Bible and how to apply it to my life- just one day at a time; just for today- only! I do my best everyday to follow the concepts and traditions suggested within the 12 Step community ( which is all in Gods word, just made so simple and slowly learning I can do them) and the Bible believing/Faith in my Lord Jesus community/fellowship.
Everyday I'm receiving healing in some area of my life! There's a saying I read "what you love is what leads you". So if I love to hang out with the wrong people for me, that is what leads me. But if I choose to hang out with like-minded, God loving people that will lead me. I didn't say "they" but "that", that lifestyle.
I also KNOW that being alone, without any distractions (men) for quite a few years has made a huge difference!
I guess I'm "catching up" on things I could of learned probably in my older teens to 20's if I relied on God fully and stayed away from ALL those many distractions I turned to instead.(of God)
Recently, I have been blessed to actually meet a large Christian family that I am around daily, who are REALLY walking the talk. They actually follow Gods word and lifestyle. From the 91 year old grandfather/father to the great grandchildren! I really never thought there actually were people like this in the modern world I live in -Welcoming, accepting, non-judgemental, caring, non-yelling, non-cussing, non-drinking, non-smoking, non-arguing, truly loving family; sort of similar to the "Waltons" only up to date, current with today. There is a pleasant peace I never have felt. There's not jealousies, no "I made it better than you", no " I have a house or better house/car than you", not "I'm skinnier or prettier than you". Just humble working Christian people!
I have prayed and dreamed for this for years.
I always would feel like I'm so different compared to other! I would feel like "I don't fit in anywhere"- for real I didn't. But here with them, I fit!
God is showing me that there really are people out there that LIVE Godly, good, humble, clean, non-judgmental, truly caring and loving, respecting one another people, (their family members to each other), and never have done the things that can harm the body or mind. The respect each member gives to to mother and father! (in 90's) and the next generation down to the next generation- it's very amazing to me. I just have not ever seen this. Or it was phoney. This shows me people CAN live well, and happy with their families without verbal, emotional, physical and spiritual abuse!
By God allowing me to be lead to this family to observe it is little by little helping me to start to trust "Christians". Which I haven't fully since my minister ex-husband abandoned me and our children, as well as his family abandoning us also. I've never given up on God. Just been "leary" "cautious"(probably overly cautious) of people who say they are Christians or "spiritual". Gosh I have to say MEN in general too! (but there was a year or so there I just "didn't care about who I was with - Looking back now I see this, I didn't then)
Now, lately, I actually feel like I actually matter in this world. I'm not "just a body" to hurt in every which way. I have skills, talents, abilities, and I was created to find this out! To LOVE God, and accept His only Son, Jesus into my heart and life, and too really rely on Him for my every need. Turn my "will" over to Him.
I'm like a free and beautiful "giving" Butterfly who has not worry for his life. He just is. And while he's on this earth, he "gives" out joy and love to people. That is our purpose in life. To Give out God's joy, love and beauty to all, and to simply love and trust in Him.
He can and will help you, mold you into the better people you want to be and can be, the better person I want to be. God loves us and only wants what's best for us, and we get that by trusting in Him, and by us picking up our feet and follow Him. Love Him. Let "what we love lead us". Let that love be the one true source of love- God the creator of us!
See this Amp at http://amplify.com/u/a13lui
Sunday, April 10, 2011
Dream Center LA - HUMAN TRAFFICKING CONFERENCE...
The Dream Center LA is having a Human Trafficking Conference in the Fall
check it out!
DEFINITION
Human Trafficking is modern-day slavery, in which victims are subjected to force, fraud, or coercion for the purpose of forced labor or sexual exploitation. It is the fastest growing criminal industry worldwide.FORCE – rape, beatings, and confinement to control victims
FRAUD – false offers to victims, false offers of employment, marriage, better life
COERCION – Threats, debt-bondage, psychological abuse
TYPES OF TRAFFICKING
Forced Labor or involuntary servitude is the leading form of trafficking in the world.Bonded Labor or Debt Bondage utilizes a bond or debt to keep a person under subjugation- Migrant Laborers are especially vulnerable to bonded labor or debt bondage.
Involuntary Domestic Servitude – the informal workplace is conducive to exploitation.
Forced Child Labor includes any child subject to involuntary servitude, debt bondage or slavery Sex Trafficking comprises a significant portion of trafficking and can occur alongside debt bondage, this includes, but not limited to, prostitution, brothels, porn films, escort services, etc.
Child Sex Trafficking includes commercial sexual exploitation of children and child sex tourism.
SHELTERS/PROGRAMS IN THE USA
- Very few shelters specifically for Human Trafficking Victims.
- Most adult victims will go into domestic violence shelters.
- Most minors go into foster care system or juvenile halls.
- There are NO shelters for male victims of human trafficking in this country.
IDENTIFYING A VICTIM
Some Indicators of a potential trafficking victim includes:1. Evidence of being controlled or the inability to move or leave a job or home
2. Bruises or other signs of physical abuse
3. Fear or depression
4. Not speaking on own behalf and/or non-English speaking
5. No passport or other forms of Identification or documentation
Dream Center LA - HUMAN TRAFFICKING CONFERENCE-FALL 2011- GET INVOLVED!
DEFINITION
Human Trafficking is modern-day slavery, in which victims are subjected to force, fraud, or coercion for the purpose of forced labor or sexual exploitation. It is the fastest growing criminal industry worldwide.FORCE – rape, beatings, and confinement to control victims
FRAUD – false offers to victims, false offers of employment, marriage, better life
COERCION – Threats, debt-bondage, psychological abuse
TYPES OF TRAFFICKING
Forced Labor or involuntary servitude is the leading form of trafficking in the world.Bonded Labor or Debt Bondage utilizes a bond or debt to keep a person under subjugation- Migrant Laborers are especially vulnerable to bonded labor or debt bondage.
Involuntary Domestic Servitude – the informal workplace is conducive to exploitation.
Forced Child Labor includes any child subject to involuntary servitude, debt bondage or slavery Sex Trafficking comprises a significant portion of trafficking and can occur alongside debt bondage, this includes, but not limited to, prostitution, brothels, porn films, escort services, etc.
Child Sex Trafficking includes commercial sexual exploitation of children and child sex tourism.
SHELTERS/PROGRAMS IN THE USA
- Very few shelters specifically for Human Trafficking Victims.
- Most adult victims will go into domestic violence shelters.
- Most minors go into foster care system or juvenile halls.
- There are NO shelters for male victims of human trafficking in this country.
IDENTIFYING A VICTIM
Some Indicators of a potential trafficking victim includes:1. Evidence of being controlled or the inability to move or leave a job or home
2. Bruises or other signs of physical abuse
3. Fear or depression
4. Not speaking on own behalf and/or non-English speaking
5. No passport or other forms of Identification or documentation
Saturday, April 9, 2011
the difference between Support Group vs. Individual Therapy
Support Groups: What Are They All About?
Ever wondered if a professionally facilitated therapeutic support group would be right for you?Some clients that come to me express reluctance when the option of joining Group is presented, while others are more open to the concept.
Support Group vs. Individual Therapy
Just a few of the benefits for each
Group Therapy Benefits:Provides you with a support system ( which we all need )
Receive peer feed back and support ( for a variety of input )
Receive professional feedback and support
Fee is generally less than individual sessions
Truly see that your struggles are shared by others, learn from their experiences, share some of your own success.Individual Therapy Benefits:Provides you support
The entire session is focused on you
Appointments arranged around YOUR own schedule
Excellent for crisis management
Beneficial as an addition to group, as needed
Receive peer feed back and support ( for a variety of input )
Receive professional feedback and support
Fee is generally less than individual sessions
Truly see that your struggles are shared by others, learn from their experiences, share some of your own success.Individual Therapy Benefits:Provides you support
The entire session is focused on you
Appointments arranged around YOUR own schedule
Excellent for crisis management
Beneficial as an addition to group, as needed
DEPRESSION
People who struggle with depression often feel down for extended periods. They lose interest in activities that they once found pleasurable. Depression negatively affects millions of Americans each year.ANXIETY AND STRESS
Stress and anxiety are related, but often confused. Stress is tension associated with a specific event (e.g. a test or a job), while anxiety is a non-specific worry about the future. To find relief, people with anxiety may turn to repetitive routines, preoccupations, or addictions.ARGUMENTS
Conflict resolution is an important part of any relationship. Conflict plays a vital role in allowing two people to reconcile differing needs. Unfortunately, when conflict is handled poorly, it can cause distress in the relationship.TRAUMA
Experiences that overwhelm or scare us can leave a lasting impression. The symptoms can leave us stressed, depressed, and have negative consequences for our work and home life.COMMUNICATION
Feeling understood and understanding ones partner is what allows couples to deeply share one another?s lives. Often, couples struggle with communication issues, which actually mask deeper relationship issues.TRUST
Trust plays a vital role in sustaining a relationship. People trust differently. For some, trust is established quickly, while others are slow to grant trust. Similarly, some are able to forgive quickly, while others find it hard.SELF-ESTEEM
Self-esteem is a feeling of personal worth. It is important to be able to value yourself regardless of your current state of personal achievement, beauty, or intelligence. Your self-esteem creates the foundation for a full life, great relationships, and a feeling of well-being.(This is just a sampling of issues that therapy can help with.)Type of Counseling Issues-
INDIVIDUALS
Individual counseling provides an opportunity for you to openly talk about your thoughts and feelings in a safe environment. Together, we can discuss your issues or concerns with:
- Self-development
- Domestic Abuse issues
- Anxiety and depression
- Stress Management
- Life Transitions
- Anger Management
- Teen Life Issues
- Substance abuse and dependence
- Loss and grief counseling
FAMILIES
Family dynamics can often be challenging, whether you have a traditional or non-traditional family, we can help. Family counseling provides an opportunity for everyone to openly talk about their thoughts and feelings in a safe environment. Together, we can try to solve any familial issues:
- Parent-child conflicts
- Family communication problems
- Defiant, angry, or isolated teens
- Grief and issues of loss
- Life Transitions (after divorce or separation)
GROUPS
- Therapeutic support groups tend to be a truly enriching experience with additional input and feedback from group members
- Men's group
COUPLES
Couples counseling is beneficial to those interested in improving their relationships. We have experience with a diverse range of couples from various racial, ethnic, and spiritual backgrounds. Couples can be married or dating, straight or gay. We assist couples with:
- Communication
- Financial disagreements
- Infidelity
- Trust issues
- Premarital, Pre-commitment counseling
Ashley Bretting, M.S.MFT
Marriage, Family Therapy Lic# MFC48978
(805) 204-7315
Maybe they know of help in your City?
Support Group vs. Individual Therapy
Support Group vs. Individual Therapy
Just a few of the benefits for each
Group Therapy Benefits:Provides you with a support system ( which we all need )
Receive peer feed back and support ( for a variety of input )
Receive professional feedback and support
Fee is generally less than individual sessions
Truly see that your struggles are shared by others, learn from their experiences, share some of your own success.Individual Therapy Benefits:Provides you support
The entire session is focused on you
Appointments arranged around YOUR own schedule
Excellent for crisis management
Beneficial as an addition to group, as needed
Receive peer feed back and support ( for a variety of input )
Receive professional feedback and support
Fee is generally less than individual sessions
Truly see that your struggles are shared by others, learn from their experiences, share some of your own success.Individual Therapy Benefits:Provides you support
The entire session is focused on you
Appointments arranged around YOUR own schedule
Excellent for crisis management
Beneficial as an addition to group, as needed
Las Vegas: “Hub” of Human Trafficking
Last Updated on Saturday, 09 April 2011 11:57Written by Perly ViasmenskyWednesday, 30 March 2011 00:00
By Perly Viasmensky
Many are under the false impression that human traffickers shuttle women in and out of Asia to work in massage parlors, many of which are fronts for prostitution. Not all of those women, however, come from Asia; many are coming from our neighboring country of Canada, lured into their situation by recruiters offering false promises of a career as a model or a dancer.
Numerous girls are arrested in our city daily for solicitation and then thrown in the Clark County Detention Center until they can appear before a judge or get bailed out by their pimps. The traffickers remain unknown and untouched when, in reality, they are the ones who should be targeted by law enforcement.
Very seldom do we see human traffickers prosecuted in Las Vegas. Often, those criminals are unknown to police officers because the arrested alleged prostitute is afraid of the beating she will receive if she discloses the name of her pimp or the recruiter who brought her to Las Vegas under false pretenses. Other times, the naive girls still believe that their pimps are in love with them and refuse to compromise them in any way.
The girls are lured by pimps and other girls' recruiters into prostitution at hotels on and off the Las Vegas Strip, and they are bound to their unwanted and forced-upon-them lifestyle by threats and intimidation.
Although we cannot know the actual number, many girls have disappeared from Las Vegas over the years - sometime between night and morning - without a trace. Caught up in that unwanted life, those girls would rather prostitute themselves every night than receive a brutal beating they know they will get if they disobey their pimps and fail to bring in the amount of money expected. The pimps depend on controlling those young women through fear and coercion. And that control makes it easy for the trafficking to continue.
The problem in Nevada is not with the legal rural brothels where those ladies have chosen their way of life; many of them support their household and children with the profits from their profession. They have not been and are not being subjected to brutal beatings by owners of those brothels and they do not work there out of fear. Our problem is with human trafficking and the number of girls that are lured to Las Vegas by corrupt men and women.
The girls recruited by those morally-bankrupt individuals are not working in the world's oldest profession by choice; they are victims of criminals reaping often huge profits at the expense of those young, innocent girls, and that is the reason we want to expose some of those people by publishing their pictures and letting the citizens of Las Vegas be aware of who they are.
Jessica
Richard Barrington Walcott
Yvonne
Before Vice officers arrest a supposed prostitute, they ought to follow her to where the pimp will be waiting to receive his profits from his “ATM machine,” who just happens to be the girl he sent to prostitute herself for his personal benefit.
It is time for Metro officers and Immigration authorities to start investigating all those men coming from Canada with young girls on tour; and more than ever, it's time for the American Embassy in Canada to check on all those coming across.
Donald Vaz.
Take a look at the pictures of those we mentioned in this article. Based on the information we have, all of them should be deported from the United States immediately. And if any one of them is an American citizen, he or she should be jailed for life for the crime of human trafficking.
See this Amp at http://amplify.com/u/bylgg
Las Vegas: “Hub” of Human Trafficking
Last Updated on Saturday, 09 April 2011 11:57
By Perly Viasmensky
Many are under the false impression that human traffickers shuttle women in and out of Asia to work in massage parlors, many of which are fronts for prostitution. Not all of those women, however, come from Asia; many are coming from our neighboring country of Canada, lured into their situation by recruiters offering false promises of a career as a model or a dancer.
Numerous girls are arrested in our city daily for solicitation and then thrown in the Clark County Detention Center until they can appear before a judge or get bailed out by their pimps. The traffickers remain unknown and untouched when, in reality, they are the ones who should be targeted by law enforcement.
Very seldom do we see human traffickers prosecuted in Las Vegas. Often, those criminals are unknown to police officers because the arrested alleged prostitute is afraid of the beating she will receive if she discloses the name of her pimp or the recruiter who brought her to Las Vegas under false pretenses. Other times, the naive girls still believe that their pimps are in love with them and refuse to compromise them in any way.
The girls are lured by pimps and other girls' recruiters into prostitution at hotels on and off the Las Vegas Strip, and they are bound to their unwanted and forced-upon-them lifestyle by threats and intimidation.
Although we cannot know the actual number, many girls have disappeared from Las Vegas over the years - sometime between night and morning - without a trace. Caught up in that unwanted life, those girls would rather prostitute themselves every night than receive a brutal beating they know they will get if they disobey their pimps and fail to bring in the amount of money expected. The pimps depend on controlling those young women through fear and coercion. And that control makes it easy for the trafficking to continue.
The problem in Nevada is not with the legal rural brothels where those ladies have chosen their way of life; many of them support their household and children with the profits from their profession. They have not been and are not being subjected to brutal beatings by owners of those brothels and they do not work there out of fear. Our problem is with human trafficking and the number of girls that are lured to Las Vegas by corrupt men and women.
The girls recruited by those morally-bankrupt individuals are not working in the world's oldest profession by choice; they are victims of criminals reaping often huge profits at the expense of those young, innocent girls, and that is the reason we want to expose some of those people by publishing their pictures and letting the citizens of Las Vegas be aware of who they are.
Jessica
Richard Barrington Walcott
Yvonne
Before Vice officers arrest a supposed prostitute, they ought to follow her to where the pimp will be waiting to receive his profits from his “ATM machine,” who just happens to be the girl he sent to prostitute herself for his personal benefit.
It is time for Metro officers and Immigration authorities to start investigating all those men coming from Canada with young girls on tour; and more than ever, it's time for the American Embassy in Canada to check on all those coming across.
Donald Vaz.
Take a look at the pictures of those we mentioned in this article. Based on the information we have, all of them should be deported from the United States immediately. And if any one of them is an American citizen, he or she should be jailed for life for the crime of human trafficking.
How to Build Self-Esteem After a Verbally Abusive Relationship
How to Build Self-Esteem After a Verbally Abusive Relationship
Overview
Moving on after a verbally abusive relationship is challenging because your abuser has convinced you that your character is somehow deficient. Verbal abuse can leave you with enduring psychological wounds; scars that can influence every part of your life and damage your self-esteem. Best-selling author, Patricia Evans, founded the Evans Interpersonal Communications Institute in order to emphasize the devastating consequences of verbal abuse. She says, “Verbal abuses creates emotional pain and mental anguish. It is a lie told to you or about you. Generally, verbal abuse defines people telling them what they are, what they think, their motives, and so forth.”
Step 1
Confront the pain. Allow yourself to express any negative emotions you have towards your abuser. Face your anger and sadness. Recognize that the abuse wasn’t a result of your deficiencies, but a result of your abuser’s defects. Don’t attempt to hide your emotions. Repressing the anger can force you to simply accept the abuse as a reality, rather than allowing yourself to face the devastating consequences of the manipulation, says psychoanalyst Jane Bolton. She says that by suppressing the resentment, you’re allowing your abuser to hold emotional control over you. As a result, the “...internal pressure builds up until the self-suppressing can no longer hold and emotional eruption follow.” Subsequently, she says, you feel “...remorse, shame, and self-esteem plummets.”
Step 2
Direct your feelings towards a constructive outlet. Find an active means by which you can express your frustrations. Engage in activities that allow you to focus on your well-being and your self-improvement. Challenge yourself by participating in new hobbies. Sign up for a half-marathon and join a marathon-training group, take martial arts classes, participate in a cooking challenge or register for an intellectually demanding class at a local college. Your abuser has controlled you through domination and submission techniques, says social scientist and educator, Michael J. Formica. Give yourself an opportunity to recognize your strengths and prove that you can achieve success, even when you’re presented with a difficult task.
Step 3
Give and receive support. Find a support group for victims of abuse. Not only can you receive help for coping with your suffering, but you can also assist others in their journey through the pain. Empathizing with others can produce a healing effect in victims, says Bolton. She says that the ability to recognize a need for understanding and compassion in regard to others can “...heal and support blossoming of the self and relationships.” Be open and honest within the group by sharing your experiences and receiving feedback from other victims who have shared some of the same hardships—you’re not alone. Bolton says that when you see someone who’s attempting to understand how you feel, it can give you a “...burst of hope, optimism and energy. That renewed energy brings us closer to being able to act upon what we need...” and permits you to take care of your physical and emotional needs.
Step 4
Replace negative self-talk. Replace the negative thoughts or words in your head with positive self-affirmations. Remind yourself that you were strong enough to leave the abuse and move on with your life. Make a list of what has changed since you left the relationship and compare it to your life when you were absorbed in the abuse. Focus on your needs and do whatever it is that allows you to feel a sense of joy and accomplishment. Psychologist Daniel Tomasulo says that you should take time each day to identify and ponder the positive aspects in your life. He says that if you focus on moments of happiness or inspiration, you can transfer your “...mindset toward finding and savoring the good things in our life which, in turn, allows for a genuine resilience in our spirit, mind, and body.”
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