Oceans From The Rain by Seventh Day Slumber

No matter what we go through, He never changes, His love never changes, He is always with us...

What YOU can do to STOP Sexual Assault: An Excerpt From the Website The Mighty Phoenix by Marie Waldrep

From - http://themightyphoenix.webs.com/

By Marie Waldrep

What YOU can do to STOP Sexual Assault:
1. Raise awareness about sexual assault. Encourage your school, place of worship, community center, workplace, hospital, or local library to provide current resources about sexual assault.

2. Tell people it is NEVER ok for someone to force sex. -not even if someone has been drinking, not if a person has agreed to sex in the past (but doesn't want to have sex now), not if a person is sexually turned on - NEVER FORCE someone to have done/do ANY sexual activity!

3. Confront attitudes and beliefs that support rape. Openly disagree with people who make comments that blame the victims, and which you know are not true. Objest to comments that degrade women or reinforce rigid sex role stereotypes. Point out that riged beliefs about gender roles add to the risk of interpersonal violence.

4. Donate to programs that address sexual assault. Give money or volunteer your time to your local community sexual assault center.

5. Remember you always have the right to say NO! to touching or sex, under any circumstances. If someone disregards your wishes of not wanting to be touched or not wanting to have sex, they have made a choice to not listen. They have violated your boundaries. This is not your FAULT!

6. Team up and help friends stay safer! Use the buddy system to help keep friends from being alone in vulnerable situations.

 7. Base your own relationships in respect for your partner! Listen to and honor your partner's wishes. Never push or force anyone into unwanted sexual contact.  

Go to the above link to read more. Her site has a LOT of information!

MEET UP- Are we ready to DO what NEEDS to be done to LET the healing come?

Starting a "meet up"  for females of faith who have experienced child abuse, neglect, adult abuse, domestic violence, rape, etc... in Bakersfield, Ca. the 2nd Saturday of the month. Place to be determined.  I will post it soon. 
I am open to what God has for me to do for His precious princess's! 
I was once horribly wounded and scared, but now a day at a time I'm becoming healed in the reality of my mind! I know I am healed immediately in God eyes the moment I prayed and asked, but since I am human and have the human brain which we only use 10% of, I can only experience the healing in a tangible way gently one step at a time. 
Time does heal wounds IF we are willing to allow ourselves to take on God's healing touch. 


I was once a very shut up little wounded soul wrapped up in a sort of a cocoon but now because of the touch of the Master's hand- God/Jesus, I am now free to fly and reveal all the many mosaic patterns of myself as does a butterfly! - ONE DAY AT A TIME- as I am able. 
I do still have set backs, but I do come out of them way faster today than I ever have in the past. Healing is happening and real!! Healing of the emotions and mind is a little different than say, having one leg that in shorter than the other leg, get "adjusted" by God's healing power, and instantly you SEE it extend and measure up evenly. I have SEEN that type of healing numerously through out my 30 years of Christianity, but the emotional and mental being is much more delicate, needs a tactful, careful, thoughtful, & sensitive handling, and with God's touch, who is the MASTER, it can and will be done, IF we OPEN ourselves up to what HE wants us to do. And that's the ticket right there. Are we ready to DO what NEEDS to be done to LET the healing come?

Voice That Has Spoken From Within, A: A Survivor’s Feelings Expressed Through Poetry

http://www.publishamerica.net/product6655.html

Janet Marie Waldrep began writing from her heart at the early age of 11. As a victim of incest and childhood sexual assault, she found writing poems helped to ease the pain and facilitate her healing and recovery process. As such, she felt compelled to compile this collection of her own poems. Marie was awarded the Editor’s Choice Award in January 2004 for outstanding achievement in poetry by poetry.com and the International Library of Poetry for her poem “Still I Cry.” She has created a web site called The Mighty Phoenix with information to help promote awareness and healing of all sexual abuse.

Voice That Has Spoken From Within,   A Survivor’s Feelings Expressed Through Poetry by Marie Waldrep

Domestic Violence Reform with Alexis A Moore

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/rss/tag/dv-reform.rss

Battling for DV REFORM

Taking Action Host Alexis A. Moore, President and founder of Survivors In Action and guests will be discussing DV REFORM on the anniversary of the "Open Letter to Lynn Rosenthal" and the DV REFORM petition that reached over 10K signatures in less than a year.

Survivor Radio Cafe

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/survivorradiocafe.rss

An online radio show ARCHIVE that is geared toward survivors of any trauma. We are all a survivor or secondary survivor of something; whether it's sexual abuse, domestic violence, chronic illness or cancer, P.T.S.D., Mental Illness, grief...ect, and it is important to understand that we are not alone. We can heal and bring awareness to some of the most personal issues facing this world today. Ginger & Haullie touch on certain topics in these archived broadcasts. Listen to special guest interviews, poetry readings, inspirational music, authors, announcements on festivals, host topic discussions for listeners to call in to, and so much more!! Guest participation and further interviews have been cancelled due to Ginger & Haullie both becoming Mommies at the same time and therefore having little or no time to devote to the Survivor Radio Cafe; however we are appriciative of your continued support & dedication to the shows we have provided. If you would like to contact us in the future please E-mail Ginger Gillenwater at: gethang04@roadrunner.com

Listen to internet radio with Survivor Radio Cafe on Blog Talk Radio

Women Who dreamBIG w/ Michelle Renee

Women Who dreamBIG w/ Michelle Renee


http://www.blogtalkradio.com/womenwhodreambig/2009/11/11/women-who-dreambig-w-michelle-renee

What do domestic violence survivors and veterans have in common? Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, or PTSD. Today I will be discussing PTSD and a recent breakthrough client who called on the brink of collapse. What is PTSD? What are triggers? Why can't I just "get over it"? We will discuss these questions and more today with domestic violence survivor and awareness advocate Linda Rae Foster on Women Who dream BIG.

Listen to internet radio with Michelle Renee on Blog Talk Radio

Susan Murphy Milano Blogtalkradio show

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/susanmurphymilano.rss

Susan Murphy Milano, Author, Speaker, Violence Safety Strategist and Consultant and Celebrity Spokesperson, has been featured on Oprah, 20/20, The Justice Files, US News & World Report, USA Today, The E Network, The Associated Press, Family Circle Magazine, CNN and NBC's Sunday Today. Susan's valuable resources are what every single female going through a divorce must have on her bedside stand, not only will they guide you through the journey, her strategic voice, plans, forms, tools and insight will literally save others thousands in divorce and abuse related costly fees as well as clearly map out the course to take towards a successful and safe future. For more on purchasing Susan's books, hiring her for a speaking engagement and/or personal coaching consultation, please visit her website at http://www.susanmurphymilano.com

One Child Abuse Survivor 2 another

One Child Abuse Survivor 2 another

Need a friend? Want to tell your story? Want to help others who are suffering from PTSD, or survivors of child abuse, domestic violence, but do not know how, we can find the answers together. Join me for a daily walk from one child abuse survivor to another. I am not a counselor, have no experience counselling others, I am not a legal representative and I can give no legal advice. I am just one survivor who cares very much for others and just one more voice saying "Stop Child Abuse!!" and "Stop Domestic Violence" and "Stop Human Rights Abuses"! Join me and raise your voice! We do count! It does matter!

Listen to internet radio with Laurie Smith on Blog Talk Radio

One Child Abuse Survivor 2 another on Laurie Smith will air 08/05

One Child Abuse Survivor 2 another on Laurie Smith Upcoming Show: 8/5/2010 5:00 AM.

http://tobtr.com/s/1139036

on BlogTalkRadio

Need a friend? Want to tell your story? Want to help others who are suffering from PTSD, or survivors of child abuse, domestic violence, but do not know how, we can find the answers together. Join me for a daily walk from one child abuse survivor to another. I am not a counselor, have no experience counselling others, I am not a legal representative and I can give no legal advice. I am just one survivor who cares very much for others and just one more voice saying "Stop Child Abuse!!" and "Stop Domestic Violence" and "Stop Human Rights Abuses"! Join me and raise your voice! We do count! It does matter!

Purple♡Hearts 4 Butterflies ✞ MEETUP in Bakerfield, Ca 93312

http://purplehearts4butterflies.tumblr.com/
http://purplehearts4butterflies.blogspot.com/
http://twitter.com/droselady
http://purplehearts4butterflies.posterous.com/

We have a "meet up" in Bakersfield, Ca, 93312 on the Second (2nd) Saturday of the month @ 11am

(we  meet at Denney's back room on W. Rosedale Hwy in the Target/Walmart shopping center, You don't HAVE to spend anything if you don't have it. If you are able to, a beverage would be great so we can stay meeting there where we are safe)

Questions? leave message and I'll get back with you within a day: 916-799-0907

We share about our experiences regarding violent 

abuses, sexual abuses, child abuses, domestic 

abuses, rapes, to ever stripping, and prostituting 

due to maybe we were homeless, had low self 

esteem, or no where to go or live or anyone to turn 

to, and we will support and pray for one another. 

You will walk away feeling loved,supported, 

understood, and not judged or “weird”. We share 

our hope and positive stories; how we got out and 

got safe, how we've changed, what God has done in us so far, etc..

We can help others, or share the present 

situation you are in, and how you are dealing with 

it. We share with each other our hurts and painful 

memories in hopes to be set free from the pain and 

receive God’s joy, grace and love!

Come, and  pray to God for one another, for His help, 

support, guidance and direction in our lives towards healing and victory!




If you don't live near by you can start a support meet up group as well. If you would like a guide to help you follow, I recommend "The Christian Guide to the 12 Steps" and apply it to this topic//issue/subject!

Our Goals and Vision

My heart's desire is to be open to what God has for me to do for His precious princess's! I was once horribly wounded and scared, but now a day at a time I'm becoming healed in the reality of my mind! I know I am healed immediately in God eyes the moment I prayed and asked, but since I am human and have the human brain which we only use 10% of, I can only experience the healing in a tangible way gently one step at a time. Time does heal wounds if we are willing to allow ourselves to take on God's healing touch. I was once a very shut up little wounded soul wrapped up in a sort of a cocoon but now because of the touch of the Master's hand- God/Jesus, I am now free to fly and reveal all the many mosaic patterns of myself as does a butterfly! - ONE DAY AT A TIME- as I am able. I do still have set backs, but I do come out of them way faster today than I ever have in the past. Healing is happening and real!! Healing of the emotions and mind is a little different than say, having one leg that in shorter than the other leg, get "adjusted" by God's healing power, and instantly you SEE it extend and measure up evenly. I have SEEN that type of healing numerously through out my 30 years of Christianity, but the emotional and mental being is much more delicate, needs a tactful, careful, thoughtful, & sensitive handling, and with God's touch, who is the MASTER, it can and will be done, IF we OPEN ourselves up to what HE wants us to do. And that's the ticket right there. Are we ready to DO what NEEDS to be done to LET the healing come?

http://purplehearts4butterflies.tumblr.com/
http://purplehearts4butterflies.blogspot.com/
http://twitter.com/droselady

DreamCatchers Blogtalkradio

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/dreamcatchers.rss

click on above link to be directed there

Welcome to my Blog Site, but really not just mine..but ALL of ours! My STORY in a NUT SHELL

me in Walmart parking lot with Larry in Sac, Ca
Originally uploaded by djallen60

Hello fellow survivors, friends and loved ones of survivors!


My name is Donna. Some know me as Donna D'Rose. Let me tell you a little bit about me, my background, and my vision I believe God has given me.


I'm nearing 50 years old and I am survivor! 


Let my "qualify" myself first (warning- it's a crazy mess!):


I am a survivor of child abuse, child sexual assault, rape(s), drug and alcohol(which is a drug too) abuse, domestic violence, emotional, mental and verbal abuse from my ex (minister) husband, who still travels around the world on his listeners dime being a minister and author of Christian books, who didn't pay Child Support (after he abandoned us at my grandmothers house) while I was left to raise my 2 children alone, so I worked 3-4 jobs, 7 days a week, to take care of their needs so they wouldn't "feel" deprived, emotional abuse from 2nd husband (who was a con-artist to me saying he was divorced so I would go out with him, to find out he was very much married!, then when I left him, he who stole thousands of dollars from poor elderly ladies, sick people with AIDS, employers, and had to go to jail, while in jail got his divorce, then came to me in front of my children and grandmother with a ring and divorce papers rolled into the band of an engagement ring, getting my kids and grandmother so happy and excited, I felt I had to say yes,( which was the stupidest, co-dependent decision ) and then stole my grandmother's VISA card and charged 5000. on it the day before wedding, but didn't find out till after honeymoon, who later I found out was an closet alcoholic that I didn't even know he drank! Survived addiction to over the counter diet pills (basically speed) to counteract my eating disorder of bulimia, and to keep me awake do work the 3 jobs a day and 4 separate jobs 7 days a week, then my 180 units at College majoring in Psychology, and art. I also found my way to various 12 Step meetings to learn the program and how I can help me in all my areas of need to finally discovering I can apply them to my various abuse memories and PTSD.


I am still in the process of learning, and will be until God brings me home. I am not a licensed therapist, but I am a Survivor, Addict, Woman of God, Mother, Daughter, in Recovery. Taking it One Day at a Time, learning to live Life on Life's Terms/God's Terms, no more my terms. Because my "terms" always brought me pain, tears, heartbreak, guilt, and bad decision making.


Living life a day at a time, just for now/today, through prayer, sharing with others, listening to others suggestions, and discerning God's will, and taking Jesus' hand for guidance is much easier then doing MY WILL, then suffering the consequences. I have suffered one too many consequences to the point, I just don't WANT to do MY WILL anymore. It just gets me into trouble and more pain.


Today, amazingly after all this, I am an Advocate to Women of Abuse(s), whether sexual abuse, or addiction, domestic violence, rape, adult children of child abuse, dysfunctional/alcoholic homes and whatever is related to these areas. I love Christ and the Father God and His Helper The Holy Spirit, and I want to share His UNENDING LOVE for us ALL, no matter what we've done in the pass, HE LOVES US JUST AS WE ARE!!! I want to be a source and resource of help to women and young women/teenagers girls.


I have a deep heart for the survivor males very much, but God hasn't called me to "work" with them at this time. I believe it is not "safe" for me to "help" men, being that I'm a woman. I've seen TOO many of those situations end up in confusing, frustrating, complicated relationships instead of receiving God's Joy and Freedom He so wants us to have. I believe it is best and wise and for the most part it's much of comfortable for me to listen and share with women. I have and do on occasion listen to men, but generally I try to direct them to other men or organizations that can be of help and service to them much better than what I can give.


As far back as I can remember, I have always had a passion to help people. As a kid, I started out wanting to be an animal doctor to care and help people's pets feel better.


Then I went from there to wanting to be an Artist. I thought I could help people take a time out from their life's stresses, and soak themselves up in gazing in my various mediums of art.


Then, I thought, I wanted to really make a difference and help people by being a lawyer for them. Be their voice. (why I thought that I could be heard for other people, I have no idea, since my own voice was never heard- I was always ignored or not listened too). Fight for them.


It was said to me over and over and over, that I would never amount up to anything. That I could never stick it out in College. Unfortunately, I believed what I was being told. Figured, fine, I just want to be a really good mother. A loving mother, and mother who listens, encourages, read stories too, tuck in bed and pray next the bed, guide in homework, be involved in the school's Parent/Teacher groups, cook dinner at the normal dinner hour-6:00, etc... I think for the most part I did just about all of the above. Unfortunately, there was a few years, the years that I worked too much, that the stress, and diet pills took it's toll on me and I became what I hoped I never ever would become. I became a yeller. I yelled in my home a lot. I had no patience anymore. I would loose control over myself and "flip out" yelling like a "mad woman"! One time I lose myself so bad, I threw a solid crystal, lemon size, ornament at my child. I can still see it in my minds' eye to this day. It just missed my child's head. I saw what I did and carried such deep guilt for so many, many years. I could of killed my own child if it hit the head! How could I of done that? I promised myself I would never hurt my kids the way I was raise. I carried this horrible pain and guilt and shame with me for a very long time. I couldn't get it out of my mind. Today, thank God, I have found peace and understanding, that it wasn't intentional, but most of all, God forgave me. He knows how sorry I was for that. I just don't know if my child has ever forgiven me or release it to God. I hate to bring it up, because I don't want to think about it. I'm forgiven, it's forgotten, and it has never happened again. Thank you Lord!


I use to listen to Focus on the Family with Dr Dobson, every day. He was my "teacher" on how to raise children. He always taught to never spank with your hand. Because your hand is an extension of God, and extension of you and should always be used to show and share God's love, your love to the children, so they will never be afraid of your hand coming out to them when you reach to them to hug them, or fit their hair away from their eyes, or rub food off of their face, etc.. Hands should always be givers of love not givers of pain. So to use something, the same something at all times, that won't bruise, make welts, or break bones. The fly swatter was a suggestion. But say you were out shopping and the child acts up really bad in the store. You need to stop your shopping,( you can always go back) and right then and there go outside to the car to spank them if necessary, or just go home and ground them, or talk to them about the bad behavior, and explain they were not going to get any "special treat". If a spanking was called for, have a fly swatter in the car trunk, of use your sandal or flat shoe. Something that won't bruise, welt, or leave handprint or marks. Just enough for them to get the point that their behavior was not ok. So this is what I did, I usually, "grounded" them, or took their favorite toy away, or TV away, or no friends over. Sometimes after all the above didn't help, I would spank them on their "behinds" only. That's why we have extra "cushion" there! I heard once. But it scared me to spank, because my whole childhood, my body was full of bruises, welts, red hand prints, bumps, hole pokes, brush marks, etc...


Well, there was a time, we had to live in this family's home. They gave us their livable basement which was their "rec room", to stay in. The husband and wife, I knew from my church. Well, they told me that I was spanking properly. That it wasn't hurting them enough so they weren't getting the point, so they continued on still doing what they weren't suppose to do. They proceeded to explain to me that "you have to spank until they cry. So if they cry at 2 you stop, but if they were stubborn and didn't cry until 20, then you spank 20 times. They was way to overboard to me I thought. No, I will do it how I was doing it, - I didn't want to over "hurt" them. Just get the point across. I wasn't going to beat them the way I was beaten!!


One day, one of my kids did something in their upstairs part of their home that wasn't ok. The wife told me about what happened. I told her that I will have a talk. She proceeded to explain to me that I needed to spank the way they were telling me it was to be done. They said go outside with the child, and pull a twig off from the tree. Then spank the child until they cry. So I told my child that I had to spank him because of what was done was wrong. I spanked him 1, 2, 3, times and no crying. 4, 5, 6, still no crying. My gut was telling me to stop, that is way enough. But according to the lady and husband it's not done until they cry. My child wouldn't cry. Stubborn. I explained that I will continue on spanking until crying happens. That crying was a sign that they learned the lesson. (They "got" it.) But, for some reason, my child wouldn't cry. My goodness, I prayed, please cry! This goes against every bone in my body! Please cry, God please let the crying begin! But no, too too stubborn. I ended up counting to 20 until finally the crying began. Thank God! I was crying myself! I felt horrible! I felt like I was an abuser! I told myself no way was I going to do that again!


I have never forgot that day, that experience. I prayed, Lord this can't be right! I continued to listen to Doctor Dobson. That spanking should be the last resort. Not the first choice.


I remember, trying to find the right "instrument" to use when spanking. I practiced on myself. I tried the flat, wide plywood of the ping pong paddle you could buy for a dollar with the ball attached to it with a elastic string. That couldn't give welts or bruises I thought to myself after trying it on my thighs. It just smarts. But then I heard it might could shatter the bones. So I stopped using those and started to look for something else.


I tried next, the fly swatter. I tried that on myself and yikes that stung! But it was pliable and bendable, soft to the skin and bones, and you only need 1 or 2 strikes and the message was made. So that is what i used after all the other ways were exhausted. Sadly, my kids pushed and pushed and seemed to never learn, or maybe they did learn, but they didn't want me to know. so they continued on disobeying and choosing to do the wrong things and break the rules. It was very hard for me. I so much wanted to be a loving, happy mom, but they continually pushed to the limits. I hated spanking. Thankfully, I never "over did" it again. Until...things were getting way out of hand.


I worked too much, drove long distances. Stressed because my kids never heard from their dad. I never got child support, work, work, work. Always tired. Wanting to have a life too. Drive to work, drive to boy scouts, girl scouts, soccer, swimming, gymnastics, the theater classes/play practices, church, schools, daycare, basketball practice, youth group, being alone....it just finally got to a head you might say. All this and then the "speed"/ diet pills, and I just lost it one night. That was the night of the solid crystal piece I threw.


But looking back, I can see, that in many ways, yes my mother came with me in my life, like a shadow, but overall, for the most part, i did not treat my children nothing even close to how i was treated. And I thank God and praise God for that. They didn't get the life I wish or dreamed they would of had, but at least they were victims of child abuse. But, sadly, they are survivors of a dysfunctional home unfortunately. I pray for them daily that they turn to God for their help, teacher and comfort, and to work through their painful memories, of what once was a happy family, with mommy and daddy, to just mommy and mommy working to much and stressing out too much. I know God will help them just as He helps me, when they turn to Him once a for all. Turning their lives and wills over to Him, for He cares sooooo much for them, that He laid down His life for them, so that they too will receive His love and freedom, so they too will fly freely as beautiful butterflies renewed in His love, just as I am and you can and will!


I have since those growing years with my children, have still suffered from PTSD from my childhood traumas. Unfortunately, various horrible things have happened due to my behavior patterns, obsessive behaviors, and making bad/wrong/unhealthy choices for myself. One being, I was sexually assaulted in 2005. It was horribly painful, and nearly died. I had to have immediate surgery to repair my insides from what had happened to me. I dealt with the pain of that traumatic night. But sadly, I don't make myself available or even go around men at all now. When I do exchange looks with a man, I clam up and get busy doing something else to avoid talking to him. But I know this is ok for me for a season. The season will end when I feel a peace in that area. But for now, I believe this is my season to know Donna again. What do I like to do? What are my hobbies? Building up myself, building up my confidence, getting closer to God, and being of whatever service I can to other survivors. I can share truthfully without fear of judgment because I know, I am forgiven, I know I did the best I could at the time with what I knew at that time. And that I did constantly pray for help. Constantly read good parenting books, co-dependent books, books on the grace of God, books of His forgiveness, the 12 Step books, learning to live for today as best as I can in front of the sight of God. He is continually there with me, helping me and reminding me of good choices verses bad choices, and opening my eyes to SEE the patterns that in some areas I still need to change, and SEE the old patterns that I have stopped! And when God shows me those old patterns, my confidence rises, and it creates a domino effect. I start to recognize another pattern of behaviors or choices that needs improvement and change.


Living day to day is very exciting, because I can actually SEE the change happening.


I hope and pray for you as well to receive inner healing from God in one area at a time as He and you work together, along with sharing and listening to other fellow survivors as ourselves. There is much need out there for us. So many are stuck in the thinking they will never be ok.


That is a lie straight from the devil himself!! The father of lies! Don't believe those negative lies that will only hold you back from becoming FREE to FLY Beautiful with your survivor clothes of purple and God's grace and FREEDOM as the Beautiful Butterflies do!


I hope you enjoy this site, post anything applicable to the subject at hand, events, resources, classes, groups, church events, special speakers, suggestions on certain subjects- I want this to be a site for YOU and for us ALL. Your special place to vent, share, pray, and share your growth in various areas, and praise/good reports happening in your lives.


I hope we all can have this same vision and help one another without judgment, with God's love and understanding. God Bless you are your journey to fly FREE with God, FREE to FINALLY BE YOU! Find out WHO you Really Are underneath the masks that we are so good at designing for ourselves. Break FREE from those various MASKS and be FREE as a BUTTERFLY! Dress yourselves in God Royal Color of PURPLE and receive YOUR PURPLE HEART OF SURVIVORSHIP! You've earned it!! Display it BOLDLY and FREELY with God by your side at all times! He is always with you, He will never Leave YOU once you turn over your will and your life over to HIM, ONE DAY AT A TIME, JUST A DAY AT A TIME!


That's it! It's that easy and simple- REALLY. People think there's something they have to do tangible, or penance, or get up something first. But no, it is just the opposite. Just come as you are to Him. That's it. Day by day, the more you grow, the closer you get to Him, the clearer your understanding gets of Him, the more you drink from His thirst-quenching word.


Please read the post titled Goals and Vision

Purple♡Hearts 4 Butterflies✟ Logo

Made by Donna D'Rose

We survivors, have survived a horror of various situations in life that we keep tied up in a cocoon for years. God wants to set us FREE!
Free to fly, with beauty and strength. Such beauty, others will want what we have. We will be a blessing to others sharing our stories of strength, survival, despair and joys and how God helped us get free to be able to be a blessing to others so they too can experience this freedom! God wants us to SPEAK up and SHARE those ugly stories so others might hear their own stories in our stories, so they too can get God's freedom, love, understanding, grace, mercy, forgiveness, joy and HEAVEN!!
But we need one another to get this freedom! Then we all can fly together bring God's greatness wherever we go! GET OUT of that cocoon! Break out and break FREE!!

Lori Finnila- Author, Survivor, Shares Her Story

I married, divorced and then ran to NY to model. Did commercials and extra work in a movie with Phil Rizutto of The Money Store and Jersey Girl with Jamie Gertz which the scenes were cut in that movie for all the extras that day. Commercial with Larry Bird and other prof athletes in Foxboro, MA for a car company and beer company. Came back physically injured by domestic violence. Was sexually assaulted by a police officer and a doctor, separate incidents. There was never a proper investigation. They ruled the officer an imposter at his 2nd job because they couldn't find him under their tax records and they refused to contact the employee or the witness because he was working under the table. They would have had to get him on that alone. I reported the doctor but I was being so drugged and had attempts on my life that I was too out of it to pursue it. Got pregnant, not from them. Was beat up before giving birth due to domestic violence again by having my skull hit and shifted and thrown down a flight of stairs. Went into a coma after chidbirth due to domestic violence again being attacked in the hospital by a family member and my abuser and the overuse of meds by the medical staff to put me into labor didn't help. My abuser then tried to kill me by pulling needles out of my arm of the life saving medicines that were being administered to me while I was in a coma and then rolling up the sheets of paper to my vital signs as they dropped asking the nurse not to report it. Permanently brain injured from this. Ran again from the domestic violence occurring in my life. Picked myself up again to write and have 3 books professionally published that are at by Turner Maxwell Books in London online and up at Amazon through LJ Publishing. Through searching I've found I had been part of a problem early in life where my mother had men coming and going using my father's bed to attend to her male guests while I was used as the excuse to be visiting with these men as my mother would say that one of them were my father everyone knowing her habits and activities this was believable. One of her regulars were dropped off regularly by a police officer of my small town in order not to attract attention to the goings on at our home. The one officer ask to get involved in these sexual activities that partook while I was being abused tied to the cellar stairs or thrown outside into the woods as a toddler to walk around by myself. There would be later attempts on my life by my mother with some corroboration from at least one of her sexual visitors along with money and gifts to the attentions that she gave. I understand now where I never had in my mind to talk about this at all in my life how this could cause so much chaos in my life and danger. I'm assuming the unborn baby I speak of at myspace would have shown signs of my real father and a blood test would have been forcibly ordered where my mother had lied and said there was already one done.
http://www.lorifinnila.webs.com/
http://twitter.com/lorifinnila, 
http://www.blogtalkradio.com/lorifinnila

Beautiful Again By Martina McBride (Lyrics)

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Laurie Ann Smith Shares on Child Abuse

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What is Purple♡Hearts 4 Butterflies✟ ??

We women who have come to God/Jesus to receive a new life, a second chance to start anew, who no longer are wrapped up tight; bound up by our ex abusers (or satan-the enemy of God and all things pure and good), like a caterpillar is all bound up in his cocoon, afraid to move, afraid to go anywhere, do anything, talk to anyone, being prisoners in our own nightmares..., have now COME OUT of our oppression! Come out of our silence! With God's love, grace, mercy, forgiveness, anointing, guidance and help, CAN NOW FLY FREE TO BE OURSELVES! FREE TO BLESS OTHERS WITH GOD'S LOVE AND GRACE AND MIRACLES, SHARE HIS JOY AND BEAUTY TO OTHER VICTIMS TO BECOME VICTORS TO BE SURVIVORS!
WE HAVE FOUGHT THE FIGHT! WE ARE SURVIVORS! NO LONGER VICTIMS! THOUGH WE STILL MIGHT SOMETIMES "FEEL" WE ARE IN THAT SAME "WAR", THAT "WAR" IN OUR MINDS AND IN OUR MEMORIES THAT SOMETIMES SURFACE AND SHOW THEMSELVES TO US.

BUT LADIES, GOD HAS AWARED US THE HIS "PURPLE HEART" WHICH STANDS FOR, WE HAVE SURVIVED THE WORSE OF LIVING SITUATIONS, SURVIVED ABUSE, RAPE, INCEST, PEDOPHILIA, VERBAL HORRIBLE DOWNGRADING NASTY, MEAN WORDS OF ABUSE, WHICH CAUSED US TO FEEL LIKE WE ARE "NOTHING"; NOTHING WORTH WHILE, MADE US QUESTION, "WHY AM I HERE?". WE HAVE SURVIVED EMOTIONAL ABUSE, MENTAL ABUSE, WHERE THE ABUSER WOULD TOY WITH OUR THINKING TO THE POINT WE MIGHT OF FELT LIKE WE WER LOSING OUR MINDS, THAT ABUSE SCARS, AND LASTS AND LASTS, I THINK WORSE COMPARED TO THE BEATINGS, HAIR PULLINGS, DRAGGING AND CHOKING, ETC., SINCE OUR BODIES HEAL OF THE CUTS, BRUISES AND WELTS, BUT IT'S THE MEMORIES THAT LAST AND LAST.

BUT I HAVE GOOD NEWS TO TELL YOU! GOD WANTS US TO BE FREE! FREE OF THESE AWFUL MEMORIES OF PAINFUL WORDS, PAINFUL EXPERIENCES. IF WE DON'T ALLOW OURSELVES TO LET GOD HEAL US AND NO MATTER HOW LONG IT TAKES TO GET HEALED OF EACH HORRIBLE EMOTION-EATING, HORMONE -GULPING (STRESS EATS UP OUR HORMONES WHICH CAUSES US TO BREAK DOWN AND FEEL LIKE WE ARE FALLING APART-I JUST LEARNED THIS) MEMORY WHICH AFFECTS US ON HOW WE THINK, BEHAVE, ACT OR REACT AND JUST LIVE..., WE MIGHT NOT EVER EXPERIENCE HIS TRUE FREEDOM OF LIFE AND LOVE AND JOYFUL LIGHT OF LIFE HE SO WANTS US TO HAVE!! WE WON'T BE ABLE TO HELP OTHERS, BLESS OTHERS, BE HIS LITTLE MIGHTY WITNESSES OF JOY AND LOVE. HIS LITTLE LAMPS OF HOPE TO OTHERS. I DON'T KNOW ABOUT YOU, BUT FOR ME, I SO WANT THIS/THAT !

THE SOONER WE START GETTING THE PAIN OUT AND DEALT WITH, THE SOONER WE CAN SPARKLE BRIGHTLY AS HIS SHINING STARS LIKE QUEEN ESTHER IN THE OLD TESTAMENT. HER LOVING UNCLE ENCOURAGED HER SO MUCH WITH POSITIVE UPLIFTING WORDS, SHE WAS ABLE TO CARRY HER OWN WITH THE INNER STRENGTH THAT GOD WANTS FOR US TO EXPERIENCE. WE NEED TO BE EACH OTHERS "ESTHER'S UNCLES" TO LIFT AND BUILD EACH OTHER UP. HELP EACH OTHER "FEEL GOOD" INSTEAD OF FEEL DOWN AND BAD. SATAN TRIES AND WITH SO MANY OF US "DOES THAT ENOUGH" IN OUR THOUGHTS, WE SHOULDN'T ADD TO IT, YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?


LOVE AND BLESSINGS,
DONNA D'ROSE~