SF: How did you get the idea to look up other Angela Sheltons across the US as a way to survey women in America?
I changed my name to Angela Shelton when I was 18 and have always loved my name. I was working on doing a theater piece and then a TV sitcom about my name after I discovered there were other Angela Sheltons. I picked up a prescription and there was a long list of Angela Sheltons and the pharmacist wanted to know which one I was. Then there was another Angela Shelton who stood up at an audition when I was called. As a writer and an artist I was pondering various ways in which to use my name in a project. The documentary idea came when the Writer’s Strike was pending. I figured if I couldn’t write a TV script, I could make a documentary around my name. Little did I know at the time that my documentary would transform my life. I thought it was going to be funny.
SF: Having met 40 Angela Sheltons, what can you conclude about “where women in America are today?”
My peek into a microcosm of women with the same name did give me a view into women in general because as Anais Nin says, “the story of one woman is the story of one million women.” My survey said that women have been screwed over, raped, beaten, stolen from, starved, frozen in fear, kept silent and weak but we are stronger than any force imaginable and we have not only survived, we are prevailing and you haven’t seen anything yet.
As I have traveled for years speaking everywhere from college campuses to high schools I see women prevailing, no matter what their name is. A time for women is emerging. We are no longer buying into the lies that were forced upon us in order to push patriarchy forward. I see women having a new respect for themselves, their environment and the men in their lives. This is not about women against men and I don’t think men need to fear an age of women either. I think men should rejoice in the fact that we are entering an age of women; they will be loved and fed better.
SF: In what way did the stories and lives of other Angela Sheltons encourage and empower you personally in your search?
The Angelas encouraged me throughout every step of my search from the first one I called who loved this idea and told me to keep going to the last Angela I met who told me that I was the most important Angela
in the film. The fact that 70% of the Angelas I spoke to had been abused is horrifying and certainly inspired me to speak out myself and get this film finished. The fact that most of the Angelas left the abusive husbands, put themselves through school, got help, healed, got sober and I finished my film is empowering. For me it’s not only a survey of women, it’s a love story for oneself.
SF: It’s a deeply personal film. At what point did you feel ready to put your story into a film and share it with the world? Were you uncomfortable with the idea of sharing your life with strangers?
I had no idea I was going to reveal as much as I did, let alone show up on my father’s doorstep on Father’s Day. When I first spoke to the Angela Shelton who lived in my dad’s town I was floored and felt like vomiting. It wasn’t until I was on the road for 30 days that I realized that confronting my own past had to be a part of the film. My crew knew it, but I didn’t. I rushed into the RV when we were in New York City and announced that we had to go see my father. It had to be the climax of the move so to speak. Puke. My crew stared at me and then pretty much in unison said, “Duh, of course you’re going to you dad’s. You have to go.” That was when I sat in silence for a long time and had to take in the fact that I was about to reveal myself.
SF: Were you surprised by the number of abuse stories you heard from the Angela Sheltons you met on your travels?
To be honest, I was not surprised because most of the women I know in my life from my mother to my best friend have stories of abuse. The fact that the majority of the Angela Sheltons were abused doesn’t mean don’t name your child Angela Shelton either. I could have picked any name. I could have also picked a man’s name. I’ve spoken to thousands of men who have been through the same horrors. Sexual violence and abuse is not just a women’s issue. This is a people problem.
SF: Did you remain in contact with the other Angelas? Have any of them formed friendships with one other since this project?
I still communicate with Anonymous and she’s still sober. We’re Facebook friends too. I get to see what she’s up to since joining the Facebook craze. I talk to the Angela in Virginia periodically too. I love her. I’ve tried to stay in contact with a few others too and love it when there is a reason for them to show up and get some stage time. In 2004 when 48 Hours Investigates did an hour special about me making the film, I got CBS to fly 9 of the Angelas out to LA to meet each other. That was a huge dream of mine and I’m so glad they facilitated that. They did an awesome job on that special. It came out before I was even done with the movie though so many thought that it was the film. After that meeting many of the Angelas kept in touch with each other.
SF: Have you gone back and spoken again with your father since meeting him during your filming?
I haven’t seen my father since that Father’s Day on his porch. I sent him a letter after I was on the Oprah Winfrey Show and 48 Hours telling him that I forgave him. I said I’d like to talk to him further if he was willing to have an honest discussion with me. He sent me a cease and desist letter instead. It was a letter from his wife’s lawyer saying that my father had always denied that he has abused us and I needed to stop showing the film. I laughed at that because indeed he has always denied it! I simply replied with a copy of the film and the release he signed before we filmed him and that was that. I called him up to see if he was going to pursue it at all. He told me that still denied everything and was going to write his own book called Who Calls The Kettle Black. That was actually oddly funny to me. I haven’t spoken to him since. Last I heard the candy stores he owned with his wife closed down.
SF: Is there any other follow up information that was found after the filming that was not included in the film but that you wish viewers would know?
The lists of followers and fans of this movie keep growing worldwide to this day. The film is used in universities, conferences, sex offender training programs, crisis center volunteer trainings, schools, mental health facilities, and in support groups. The power of this film has astounded, inspired and amazed me. The United States Department of Justice presented me with a certificate of appreciation for my work with crime victims. The mayor of my hometown of Asheville, NC declared April 29th Angela Shelton Day in honor of all survivors of abuse. I get more comments about how the film changed people’s lives than I do about the movie itself but every once in
awhile someone will raise their hand or send me an email and point out that the movie is the perfect hero’s journey and a fantastic film. That’s always nice to hear since it was my directorial debut and I originally set out to make a great film that inspired women. I think I made a really good movie but the last thing I expected was to become a hero. Now, the people I meet who have dedicated their lives to saving children from abuse are my heroes.
I have spoken to over 30,000 survivors at this point after traveling with the movie and my book and inadvertently become an expert in trauma and recovery. It is an honor for me to be a part of this movie and movement. It helped me in my life just as much as it helps others and I am eternally grateful. I’m very proud to be an Angela Shelton.
SF: Were you ever worried that your interviews with some of the women prompted them to share information they were not yet ready to disclose to the public, or for that matter, themselves? Were you ever worried, particularly with the “anonymous Angela”, that your questions would be too much for them to handle emotionally?
I had conversations with the Angelas that were not planned or scripted so when something heavy came up, it arrived out of the natural flow of a heart-to-heart conversation. I was as open with them as they were with me. Actually, I think by me being so available, it gave them a safe place to talk. We were not hiding from each other. We were women meeting and talking about our lives. There was one Angela who told me some pretty deep things about her life and the following day asked me not to share it in the film and I respected that. I didn’t make this film to create enemies; I made it to give women a platform to speak and I respected what they wanted to speak about.
I had a must different relationship with Anonymous than I did with the other Angelas. I was as worried about her as I was about myself to be honest. I go into much more detail about Anonymous and me in my book Finding Angela Shelton.
SF: What projects are you working on currently?
I have a workbook coming out that schools and support groups can use in conjunction with the film and my speaking engagements. It is based on my theory that going through trauma is like getting pierced with a sword and you can live with it affecting your life forever or you can remove it and use it.
I’m writing and directing a feature film about the true story of how one Native American man’s vision created an international movement to protect our children. It’s my most favorite project I’ve done to date. It is called Hawk Dances. Please be friends with it at facebook.com/hawkdances
I still travel and speak at various times throughout the year. Speaking in public is at the top of my list of favorite things to do. I bring a lot of humor to the horrible subject of sexual abuse so that it is palatable to wider audiences. Information about my work and me has always spread via word-of-mouth in a grassroots style. I don’t fit into any particular mold of what I “should have done” or “should be doing” so I am very grateful to the people who help me continue by spreading the word. Thank you! Please be my friend! I run my own website and facebook page. AngelaShelton.com and facebook.com/iloveangelashelton.
