Codependency

Codependency

From the Codependency Wiki:

“Codependency or codependence is a tendency to behave in overly passive or excessively caretaking ways that negatively impact one’s relationships and quality of life. It also often involves putting one’s needs at a lower priority than others while being excessively preoccupied with the needs of others.  Codependency can occur in any type of relationship, including in families, at work, in friendships, and also in romantic, peer or community relationships.  Codependency may also be characterized by denial, low self-esteem, excessive compliance, and/or control patterns.”

Denial patterns:

• I have difficulty identifying what I am feeling.
  
  
• I minimize, alter or deny how I truly feel.
  
  
• I perceive myself as completely unselfish and dedicated to the well being of others.

Low self-esteem patterns:

• I have difficulty making decisions.
  
  
• I judge everything I think, say or do harshly, as never “good enough.”
  
  
• I am embarrassed to receive recognition and praise or gifts.
  
  
• I do not ask others to meet my needs or desires.
  
  
• I value others’ approval of my thinking, feelings and behavior over my own.
  
  
• I do not perceive myself as a lovable or worthwhile person.

Compliance patterns:

• I compromise my own values and integrity to avoid rejection or others’ anger.
  
  
• I am very sensitive to how others are feeling and feel the same.
  
  
• I am extremely loyal, remaining in harmful situations too long.
  
  
• I value others’ opinions and feelings more than my own and am afraid to express differing opinions and feelings of my own.
  
  
• I put aside my own interests and hobbies in order to do what others want.
  
  
• I accept sex when I want love.

Control patterns:

• I believe most other people are incapable of taking care of themselves.
  
  
• I attempt to convince others of what they “should” think and how they “truly” feel.
  
  
• I become resentful when others will not let me help them.
  
  
• I freely offer others advice and directions without being asked.
  
  
• I lavish gifts and favors on those I care about.
  
  
• I use sex to gain approval and acceptance.
  
  
• I have to be “needed” in order to have a relationship with others.

I exhibit about 95% of these behaviors at one time or another! What about you? Any sound familiar?  Mine stems from the abuse I was raised with.  It’s really tough sometimes, to go through this recovery process, and find out how much those in my life through their abuse really gave me a lot of work to deal with!! 

But our HOPE is in GOD. Thank God I am not alone. I (we) have Christ/God, right with us, helping us every minute of every day.  He suffered betrayal, disloyalty, abandonment, ridicule     (ridicule |   ˈridiˌkyoōl, noun the subjection of someone or something to mockery and derision : he is held up as an object of ridicule).  

He chose to go through all these horrible things we go through on earth, so when we go through them, He is right there with us to help us through it!! Otherwise, He wouldn't know first hand what we are feeling inside. The pain, the embarrassment, hurt.  That's why He made the beautiful sky, ocean, flowers, lakes, sweet animals, all the things that bless us and help us feel better. To HELP us FEEL better. HE has done this for US. ME, YOU! This is how we learn to grow, and thrive, not stay down, but take on God's hand, and move onward. One day at a time, and sometimes, one minute at a time!! 

It's very sad how people can have such little regard/care for the long-term effects of what their abusive behavior can have on a person. A soul. A Child of God. But, well, it happened back with Cain and Abel. That long ago! Thank God He sent Jesus to break that curse!

See this Amp at http://amplify.com/u/dt1n