Listen to internet radio with Laurie Smith on Blog Talk Radio
http://www.blogtalkradio.com/laurie-smith/2010/02/21/mt-bethel-christian-worship-and-fellowship
PURPLE♡HEARTS 4 BUTTERFLIES✞ We are a Women's Faith-Based, on-Line Support Group for Women Survivors of Domestic, Sexual and Child Abuses-For ALL women of faith- Together, we form a Beautiful Mosaic of various colors, Like the Butterfly- and together with God's strength in our weaknesses, we can and WILL- Fly Freely! Fly Free with God, Free to be who you really are... Free like the Beautiful Mosaic Butterfly!
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
Laurie Ann Smith BlogTalkRadio
http://www.blogtalkradio.com/laurie-smith/2010/02/21/mt-bethel-christian-worship-and-fellowship
Laurie Ann Smith shares on God
http://www.blogtalkradio.com/laurie-smith/2010/02/21/mt-bethel-christian-worship-and-fellowship
Atlanta Shelters
http://www.sboard.org/SHELTERS/GA.HTM
*Georgia*
We would like to include the state laws and law enforcement agency phone numbers and addresses.
If you have access to this information, please contact us by email addressed to sbcc@sboard.org
Georgia Advocates For Battered Women and Children Atlanta GA 30312 (404)524-3847 (800)643-1212
Liberty House of Albany, Inc. P.O. Box 2046 Albany GA 31702 Business #: 912-439-7094 Hotline/Crisis: 912-439-7065
Project Safe P.O. Box 7532 Athens GA 30604 Business #: 706-549-0922 Hotline/Crisis: 706-543-3331
Council on Battered Women, Inc. P.O. Box 54383 Atlanta GA 30308 Business #: 404-870-9600 Hotline/Crisis: 404-873-1766
Women's Crisis Center P.O. Box 87515 Atlanta GA 30337 Business #: 404-969-6421 Hotline/Crisis: 404-969-6423
Safe Homes of Augusta, Inc. P.O. Box 3187 Augusta GA 30914 Business #: 404-736-2499 Hotline/Crisis: 404-736-2499
S.A.F.E. P.O. Box 11 Blairesville GA 30512 Business #: 706-745-4832 Hotline/Crisis: 706-745-8900
North Georgia Mountain Crisis Network, Inc. P.O. Box 1249 Blue Ridge GA 30513 Business #: 706-632-8401 Hotline/Crisis: 706-632-8400
Amity House P.O. Box 278 Brunswick GA 31321 Business #: 912-264-4363 Hotline/Crisis: 912-264-4357
Calhoun/Gardon County Council on Battered Women P.O. Box 2315 Calhoun GA 30703 Business #: 706-629-6065 Hotline/Crisis: 706-629-1111
Carroll County Emergency Shelter P. O. Box 2192 Carrolton GA 30117 Business #: 404-834-1141 Hotline/Crisis: 404-834-1141
Tranquility House P.O. Box 1383 Carterville GA 30120 Business #: 404-386-8779 Hotline/Crisis: 404-386-8779
Habersham Circle of Hope P.O. Box 371 Clarksville GA 30523 Business #: 706-776-3406 Hotline/Crisis: 706-776-3406
The Women's Crisis Center of the Masters Inn, Inc. P.O. Box 87515 College Park GA 30337 Business #: 404-969-6421 Hotline/Crisis: 404-969-6423
Columbus Alliance for Battered Women, Inc. P.O. Box 5840 Columbus GA 31906 Business #: 706-324-3850 Hotline/Crisis: 706-324-3850
Women's Support Network Route 3 Box 685 Covington GA 30209 Business #: 706-929-6789 Hotline/Crisis: 706-929-6789
Family Haven P.O. Box 1160 Cumming GA 30130 Business #: 404-889-6384 Hotline/Crisis: 404-887-1121
Noah's Ark P.O. Box 685 Dahlonega GA 30720 Business #: 706-864-1986 Hotline/Crisis: 706-864-1986
Paulding Co. Hope House P.O. Box 1056 Dallas GA 30132 Business #: 404-445-5098 Hotline/Crisis: 404-445-5098
Northwest Georgia Family Crisis Center, Inc. P.O. Box 554 Dalton GA 30722 Business #: 706-278-6595 Hotline/Crisis: 706-278-6595
Women's Resource Center of DeKalb County P.O. Box 171 Decatur GA 30031 Business #: 404-688-9436 Hotline/Crisis: 404-688-9436
S.H.A.R.E. House, Inc. P.O. Box 723 Douglasville GA 30133 Business #: 404-489-7513 Hotline/Crisis: 404-489-7513 Toll Free #: (800)643-1212
Wings P.O. Box 8277 Dublin GA 31040 Business #: 912-272-2129 Hotline/Crisis: 912-272-2129
Fayette County Council on Battered Women P.O. Box 854 Fayetteville GA 30214 Business #; 404-460-1604 Hotline/Crisis: 404-460-1604
Army Family Advocacy Shelter Building #2640 Fort Benning GA 31905 Business #: 706-545-5516 Hotline/Crisis: 706-545-6969
Office of the Staff Judge Advocate Building #34401 Fort Gordon GA 30905 Business #: 706-791-2847 Hotline/Crisis: 706-791-2979
Gateway House, Inc. P.O. Box 2962 Gainesville GA 30503 Business #: 404-536-5860 Hotline/Crisis: 404-536-5860
Christian Women's Center P.O. Box 803 Griffin GA 30224 Business #: 404-227-3700 Hotline/Crisis: 227-3700
The County Protective Agency P.O. Box 1937 Hinesville GA 31313 Business #: 912-368-9200 Hotline/Crisis: 912-368-9200
Project L.O.V.E., Inc. P.O. Box 2107 La Grange GA 30241 Business #: 706-884-7589 Hotline/Crisis: 706-882-1000
Cherokee Family Violence Center, Inc. P.O. Box 424 Lebanon GA 30146 Business #: 404-479-1804 Hotline/Crisis: 404-479-1703
Macon Rescue Mission Battered Women Division P.O. Box 749 Macon GA 31052 Business #: 912-935-8626 Hotline/Crisis: 912-935-8626
YWCA Crisis Intervention Marietta GA 30064 Business #: 404-427-3492 Hotline/Crisis: 404-427-3390
Association For Prevention of Domestic Violence P.O. Box 1241 McDonough GA 30253 Business #: 404-954-9220 Hotline/Crisis: 404-954-9229
Milledgeville/Baldwin County Rape Crisis Center P.O. Box 632 Milledgeville GA 31061 Business #: 912-453-4673 Hotline/Crisis: 912-453-6537
Association on Battered Women of Clayton County P.O. Box 870386 Morrow GA 30287 Business #: 404-961-7233 Hotline/Crisis: 404-961-7233 Toll Free #: (800)643-1212
Hospitality House For Women, Inc. P.O. Box 6163 Rome GA 30162 Business #: 706-235-4608 Hotline/Crisis: 706-235-4673
Savannah Area Family Emergency Shelter, Inc. P.O. Box 22487 Savannah GA 31403 Business #: 912-234-9999 Hotline/Crisis: 912-234-9999
Camden Community Crisis Center, Inc. P.O. Box 1323 St. Mary's GA 31588 Business #: 912-882-7858 Hotline/Crisis: 912-882-7858
Brother Charlie Rescue Center P.O. Box 783 Tifton GA 31793 Business #: 912-382-0577 Hotline/Crisis: 912-382-0577
The Haven, "Battered Women's Shelter, Inc." P.O. Box 5382 Valdosta GA 31603 Business #: 912-244-1765 Hotline/Crisis: 912-244-1765
The Salvation Army Safe House P.O. Box 2408 Warner Robins GA 31099 Business #: 912-923-2348 Hotline/Crisis:912-923-6294
The Shelter Waycross GA 31501 Business #: 912-285-5850 Hotline/Crisis: 912-285-5850
*Georgia*
We would like to include the state laws and law enforcement agency phone numbers and addresses.
If you have access to this information, please contact us by email addressed to sbcc@sboard.org
Georgia Advocates For Battered Women and Children Atlanta GA 30312 (404)524-3847 (800)643-1212
Liberty House of Albany, Inc. P.O. Box 2046 Albany GA 31702 Business #: 912-439-7094 Hotline/Crisis: 912-439-7065
Project Safe P.O. Box 7532 Athens GA 30604 Business #: 706-549-0922 Hotline/Crisis: 706-543-3331
Council on Battered Women, Inc. P.O. Box 54383 Atlanta GA 30308 Business #: 404-870-9600 Hotline/Crisis: 404-873-1766
Women's Crisis Center P.O. Box 87515 Atlanta GA 30337 Business #: 404-969-6421 Hotline/Crisis: 404-969-6423
Safe Homes of Augusta, Inc. P.O. Box 3187 Augusta GA 30914 Business #: 404-736-2499 Hotline/Crisis: 404-736-2499
S.A.F.E. P.O. Box 11 Blairesville GA 30512 Business #: 706-745-4832 Hotline/Crisis: 706-745-8900
North Georgia Mountain Crisis Network, Inc. P.O. Box 1249 Blue Ridge GA 30513 Business #: 706-632-8401 Hotline/Crisis: 706-632-8400
Amity House P.O. Box 278 Brunswick GA 31321 Business #: 912-264-4363 Hotline/Crisis: 912-264-4357
Calhoun/Gardon County Council on Battered Women P.O. Box 2315 Calhoun GA 30703 Business #: 706-629-6065 Hotline/Crisis: 706-629-1111
Carroll County Emergency Shelter P. O. Box 2192 Carrolton GA 30117 Business #: 404-834-1141 Hotline/Crisis: 404-834-1141
Tranquility House P.O. Box 1383 Carterville GA 30120 Business #: 404-386-8779 Hotline/Crisis: 404-386-8779
Habersham Circle of Hope P.O. Box 371 Clarksville GA 30523 Business #: 706-776-3406 Hotline/Crisis: 706-776-3406
The Women's Crisis Center of the Masters Inn, Inc. P.O. Box 87515 College Park GA 30337 Business #: 404-969-6421 Hotline/Crisis: 404-969-6423
Columbus Alliance for Battered Women, Inc. P.O. Box 5840 Columbus GA 31906 Business #: 706-324-3850 Hotline/Crisis: 706-324-3850
Women's Support Network Route 3 Box 685 Covington GA 30209 Business #: 706-929-6789 Hotline/Crisis: 706-929-6789
Family Haven P.O. Box 1160 Cumming GA 30130 Business #: 404-889-6384 Hotline/Crisis: 404-887-1121
Noah's Ark P.O. Box 685 Dahlonega GA 30720 Business #: 706-864-1986 Hotline/Crisis: 706-864-1986
Paulding Co. Hope House P.O. Box 1056 Dallas GA 30132 Business #: 404-445-5098 Hotline/Crisis: 404-445-5098
Northwest Georgia Family Crisis Center, Inc. P.O. Box 554 Dalton GA 30722 Business #: 706-278-6595 Hotline/Crisis: 706-278-6595
Women's Resource Center of DeKalb County P.O. Box 171 Decatur GA 30031 Business #: 404-688-9436 Hotline/Crisis: 404-688-9436
S.H.A.R.E. House, Inc. P.O. Box 723 Douglasville GA 30133 Business #: 404-489-7513 Hotline/Crisis: 404-489-7513 Toll Free #: (800)643-1212
Wings P.O. Box 8277 Dublin GA 31040 Business #: 912-272-2129 Hotline/Crisis: 912-272-2129
Fayette County Council on Battered Women P.O. Box 854 Fayetteville GA 30214 Business #; 404-460-1604 Hotline/Crisis: 404-460-1604
Army Family Advocacy Shelter Building #2640 Fort Benning GA 31905 Business #: 706-545-5516 Hotline/Crisis: 706-545-6969
Office of the Staff Judge Advocate Building #34401 Fort Gordon GA 30905 Business #: 706-791-2847 Hotline/Crisis: 706-791-2979
Gateway House, Inc. P.O. Box 2962 Gainesville GA 30503 Business #: 404-536-5860 Hotline/Crisis: 404-536-5860
Christian Women's Center P.O. Box 803 Griffin GA 30224 Business #: 404-227-3700 Hotline/Crisis: 227-3700
The County Protective Agency P.O. Box 1937 Hinesville GA 31313 Business #: 912-368-9200 Hotline/Crisis: 912-368-9200
Project L.O.V.E., Inc. P.O. Box 2107 La Grange GA 30241 Business #: 706-884-7589 Hotline/Crisis: 706-882-1000
Cherokee Family Violence Center, Inc. P.O. Box 424 Lebanon GA 30146 Business #: 404-479-1804 Hotline/Crisis: 404-479-1703
Macon Rescue Mission Battered Women Division P.O. Box 749 Macon GA 31052 Business #: 912-935-8626 Hotline/Crisis: 912-935-8626
YWCA Crisis Intervention Marietta GA 30064 Business #: 404-427-3492 Hotline/Crisis: 404-427-3390
Association For Prevention of Domestic Violence P.O. Box 1241 McDonough GA 30253 Business #: 404-954-9220 Hotline/Crisis: 404-954-9229
Milledgeville/Baldwin County Rape Crisis Center P.O. Box 632 Milledgeville GA 31061 Business #: 912-453-4673 Hotline/Crisis: 912-453-6537
Association on Battered Women of Clayton County P.O. Box 870386 Morrow GA 30287 Business #: 404-961-7233 Hotline/Crisis: 404-961-7233 Toll Free #: (800)643-1212
Hospitality House For Women, Inc. P.O. Box 6163 Rome GA 30162 Business #: 706-235-4608 Hotline/Crisis: 706-235-4673
Savannah Area Family Emergency Shelter, Inc. P.O. Box 22487 Savannah GA 31403 Business #: 912-234-9999 Hotline/Crisis: 912-234-9999
Camden Community Crisis Center, Inc. P.O. Box 1323 St. Mary's GA 31588 Business #: 912-882-7858 Hotline/Crisis: 912-882-7858
Brother Charlie Rescue Center P.O. Box 783 Tifton GA 31793 Business #: 912-382-0577 Hotline/Crisis: 912-382-0577
The Haven, "Battered Women's Shelter, Inc." P.O. Box 5382 Valdosta GA 31603 Business #: 912-244-1765 Hotline/Crisis: 912-244-1765
The Salvation Army Safe House P.O. Box 2408 Warner Robins GA 31099 Business #: 912-923-2348 Hotline/Crisis:912-923-6294
The Shelter Waycross GA 31501 Business #: 912-285-5850 Hotline/Crisis: 912-285-5850
Polygamist Warren Jeffs' convictions overturned by Utah court
Polygamist Warren Jeffs' convictions overturned by Utah court
News
Polygamist Warren Jeffs' convictions overturned by Utah court
19 comments by Dennis Wagner - Jul. 27, 2010 03:40 PM
The Arizona Republic
The Utah Supreme Court on Tuesday overturned the rape-as-an-accomplice conviction of Warren Jeffs, the prophet and leader of a polygamist sect based on the Arizona-Utah border, leaving his fate in the legal system uncertain.
In a unanimous decision, justices found that jurors in the case were given improper instructions by Washington County Judge James Shumate before reaching their verdict that Jeffs contributed to the 2001 sexual assault of teenage victim Elissa Wall, then 14, by directing her marriage to an adult cousin.
Jeffs, 54, once was listed among the FBI's most wanted fugitives, and faced criminal prosecutions related to child rapes in three states.
Because Mohave County prosecutors dismissed the Arizona charges against Jeffs in June, the Supreme Court decision in Utah could mean the leader of the Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints faces only remaining criminal charges in Texas.
Brian Filter, senior deputy in the Washington County Attorney's Office, said no determination has been made on whether Jeffs will be retried.
"We've just gotten the opinion. It's lengthy and obviously very complicated," Filter said. "From the beginning, we've sought justice in this case, and that's what we'll continue to do."
The ruling stunned former FLDS church member Flora Jessop of Phoenix, who wept over the phone as she denounced the court's findings: "I think the Supreme Court of Utah just raped Elissa Wall, and I wonder who's going to prosecute that case," said Jessop, who was abused before she fled the sect at age 16. "Anybody with kids should move out of Utah and Arizona because there's not justice here. It's a betrayal of all of us – every child victim … It just sickens me."
Read more: http://www.azcentral.com/news/articles/2010/07/27/20100727polygamist-jeffs-convictions-overturned27-ON.html##ixzz0uvWuXLWI
News
Polygamist Warren Jeffs' convictions overturned by Utah court
19 comments by Dennis Wagner - Jul. 27, 2010 03:40 PM
The Arizona Republic
The Utah Supreme Court on Tuesday overturned the rape-as-an-accomplice conviction of Warren Jeffs, the prophet and leader of a polygamist sect based on the Arizona-Utah border, leaving his fate in the legal system uncertain.
In a unanimous decision, justices found that jurors in the case were given improper instructions by Washington County Judge James Shumate before reaching their verdict that Jeffs contributed to the 2001 sexual assault of teenage victim Elissa Wall, then 14, by directing her marriage to an adult cousin.
Jeffs, 54, once was listed among the FBI's most wanted fugitives, and faced criminal prosecutions related to child rapes in three states.
Because Mohave County prosecutors dismissed the Arizona charges against Jeffs in June, the Supreme Court decision in Utah could mean the leader of the Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints faces only remaining criminal charges in Texas.
Brian Filter, senior deputy in the Washington County Attorney's Office, said no determination has been made on whether Jeffs will be retried.
"We've just gotten the opinion. It's lengthy and obviously very complicated," Filter said. "From the beginning, we've sought justice in this case, and that's what we'll continue to do."
The ruling stunned former FLDS church member Flora Jessop of Phoenix, who wept over the phone as she denounced the court's findings: "I think the Supreme Court of Utah just raped Elissa Wall, and I wonder who's going to prosecute that case," said Jessop, who was abused before she fled the sect at age 16. "Anybody with kids should move out of Utah and Arizona because there's not justice here. It's a betrayal of all of us – every child victim … It just sickens me."
Read more: http://www.azcentral.com/news/articles/2010/07/27/20100727polygamist-jeffs-convictions-overturned27-ON.html##ixzz0uvWuXLWI
BGEA: Starfield: Reaching 'The Hurting Generation'
BGEA: Starfield: Reaching 'The Hurting Generation'
July 23, 2010 - “When we talk about My Generation,” says Tim Neufeld, “it’s the generation of those that are hurting—less of a demographic thing and more of a spiritual thing."
Music is an amazing tool to speak past the brain and into the heart. Sometimes our intellects get in the way of feelings and things that the Holy Spirit is trying to communicate to us. Music has this way of cutting to the chase.
by Janet Chismar
The lead singer, guitarist and co-founder of Starfield isn’t referring to the classic Who anthem. Neufeld instead is talking about a track on his band’s Beauty in the Broken CD. And, in a sense, he is referring to the audience that will be attending three different Rock the River events across Canada this summer.
Featuring seven hours of high-voltage music and brief, challenging messages by Franklin Graham, the Rock the River Tour will stop in Fraser Valley (outside of Vancouver) on Aug. 7, Calgary on Aug. 21 and Edmonton on Aug. 28. It is designed to reach a lost generation of young people with a positive message of hope.
Starfield will bring their signature brand of melodic, anthemic modern worship to all three cities. They are one of the hottest tickets in Christian music, especially in their Canadian homeland. They're also one of the most decorated, with an assortment of Juno, Covenant and Shai awards to their credit.
Founded by brothers Tim and Jon Neufeld in Winnipeg, Manitoba, Starfield’s latest release, The Saving One is filled with vocal harmonies from the brothers and their trademark lyrical depth.
In the middle of a busy summer touring schedule, Neufeld recently took time to share his heart for Rock the River and for the people who love his music. “It’s a great opportunity to be part of something that is bringing churches together and has had great success in America,” he says. “Being part of what the Billy Graham Association has been doing for decades—and that’s providing these amazing events for people to encounter Christ—that’s what we’re all about.”
As someone committed to communicating with youth, Neufeld “absolutely” sees the need for Rock the River in Canada. “As far as I’m concerned, it’s all about communication and follow-up too. If the infrastructure is there for someone to continue to be in the kids’ lives, and not just be a mountaintop experience for them, then I think absolutely that’s what this area needs.”
Canada, says Neufeld, is a lot like America. “Maybe the only difference is that Canadian kids don’t have as much of the culturally accepted, ‘everybody’s a Christian, let’s go to church and not talk about the real issues’ thing that exists in different parts of America. It’s probably more like Europe in that it’s got its own flavor of universalism, and humanism, and hedonism and a lot of other ‘–isms’ that define it.”
go to website to finish the rest.
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
Child Abuse Story
*WARNING* May cause triggering. - A story of a girl who was abused and her life afterwards.
*WARNING* May cause triggering. - A story of a girl who was abused and her life afterwards.
Monday, July 19, 2010
Saturday, July 17, 2010
reality | podcasts
reality | podcasts
http://twitter.com/realitycarp
http://realitymessages.com/audio/20100711-Faith_To_Pray-32kbps.mp3
http://itunes.apple.com/podcast/reality-video/id213247827
carpinteria campus
5251 6th st.
carpinteria, ca. 93013
office@realitycarp.com
805.684.5247
805.684.5267 | Fax
ventura campus
1954 goodyear ave
ventura, ca. 93013
office@realitycarp.com
805.684.5247
805.684.5267 | Fax
5251 6th st.
carpinteria, ca. 93013
office@realitycarp.com
805.684.5247
805.684.5267 | Fax
ventura campus
1954 goodyear ave
ventura, ca. 93013
office@realitycarp.com
805.684.5247
805.684.5267 | Fax
Monday, July 12, 2010
Sunday, July 11, 2010
What YOU can do to STOP Sexual Assault: An Excerpt From the Website The Mighty Phoenix by Marie Waldrep
By Marie Waldrep
What YOU can do to STOP Sexual Assault:
1. Raise awareness about sexual assault. Encourage your school, place of worship, community center, workplace, hospital, or local library to provide current resources about sexual assault.
1. Raise awareness about sexual assault. Encourage your school, place of worship, community center, workplace, hospital, or local library to provide current resources about sexual assault.
2. Tell people it is NEVER ok for someone to force sex. -not even if someone has been drinking, not if a person has agreed to sex in the past (but doesn't want to have sex now), not if a person is sexually turned on - NEVER FORCE someone to have done/do ANY sexual activity!
3. Confront attitudes and beliefs that support rape. Openly disagree with people who make comments that blame the victims, and which you know are not true. Objest to comments that degrade women or reinforce rigid sex role stereotypes. Point out that riged beliefs about gender roles add to the risk of interpersonal violence.
4. Donate to programs that address sexual assault. Give money or volunteer your time to your local community sexual assault center.
5. Remember you always have the right to say NO! to touching or sex, under any circumstances. If someone disregards your wishes of not wanting to be touched or not wanting to have sex, they have made a choice to not listen. They have violated your boundaries. This is not your FAULT!
6. Team up and help friends stay safer! Use the buddy system to help keep friends from being alone in vulnerable situations.
7. Base your own relationships in respect for your partner! Listen to and honor your partner's wishes. Never push or force anyone into unwanted sexual contact.
Go to the above link to read more. Her site has a LOT of information!
MEET UP- Are we ready to DO what NEEDS to be done to LET the healing come?
Starting a "meet up" for females of faith who have experienced child abuse, neglect, adult abuse, domestic violence, rape, etc... in Bakersfield, Ca. the 2nd Saturday of the month. Place to be determined. I will post it soon.
I am open to what God has for me to do for His precious princess's!
I was once horribly wounded and scared, but now a day at a time I'm becoming healed in the reality of my mind! I know I am healed immediately in God eyes the moment I prayed and asked, but since I am human and have the human brain which we only use 10% of, I can only experience the healing in a tangible way gently one step at a time.
Time does heal wounds IF we are willing to allow ourselves to take on God's healing touch.
I was once a very shut up little wounded soul wrapped up in a sort of a cocoon but now because of the touch of the Master's hand- God/Jesus, I am now free to fly and reveal all the many mosaic patterns of myself as does a butterfly! - ONE DAY AT A TIME- as I am able.
I do still have set backs, but I do come out of them way faster today than I ever have in the past. Healing is happening and real!! Healing of the emotions and mind is a little different than say, having one leg that in shorter than the other leg, get "adjusted" by God's healing power, and instantly you SEE it extend and measure up evenly. I have SEEN that type of healing numerously through out my 30 years of Christianity, but the emotional and mental being is much more delicate, needs a tactful, careful, thoughtful, & sensitive handling, and with God's touch, who is the MASTER, it can and will be done, IF we OPEN ourselves up to what HE wants us to do. And that's the ticket right there. Are we ready to DO what NEEDS to be done to LET the healing come?
I am open to what God has for me to do for His precious princess's!
I was once horribly wounded and scared, but now a day at a time I'm becoming healed in the reality of my mind! I know I am healed immediately in God eyes the moment I prayed and asked, but since I am human and have the human brain which we only use 10% of, I can only experience the healing in a tangible way gently one step at a time.
Time does heal wounds IF we are willing to allow ourselves to take on God's healing touch.
I was once a very shut up little wounded soul wrapped up in a sort of a cocoon but now because of the touch of the Master's hand- God/Jesus, I am now free to fly and reveal all the many mosaic patterns of myself as does a butterfly! - ONE DAY AT A TIME- as I am able.
I do still have set backs, but I do come out of them way faster today than I ever have in the past. Healing is happening and real!! Healing of the emotions and mind is a little different than say, having one leg that in shorter than the other leg, get "adjusted" by God's healing power, and instantly you SEE it extend and measure up evenly. I have SEEN that type of healing numerously through out my 30 years of Christianity, but the emotional and mental being is much more delicate, needs a tactful, careful, thoughtful, & sensitive handling, and with God's touch, who is the MASTER, it can and will be done, IF we OPEN ourselves up to what HE wants us to do. And that's the ticket right there. Are we ready to DO what NEEDS to be done to LET the healing come?
Friday, July 9, 2010
Voice That Has Spoken From Within, A: A Survivor’s Feelings Expressed Through Poetry
http://www.publishamerica.net/product6655.html
Janet Marie Waldrep began writing from her heart at the early age of 11. As a victim of incest and childhood sexual assault, she found writing poems helped to ease the pain and facilitate her healing and recovery process. As such, she felt compelled to compile this collection of her own poems. Marie was awarded the Editor’s Choice Award in January 2004 for outstanding achievement in poetry by poetry.com and the International Library of Poetry for her poem “Still I Cry.” She has created a web site called The Mighty Phoenix with information to help promote awareness and healing of all sexual abuse.
 Voice That Has Spoken From Within,A Survivor’s Feelings Expressed Through Poetry |
Thursday, July 8, 2010
Domestic Violence Reform with Alexis A Moore
http://www.blogtalkradio.com/rss/tag/dv-reform.rss
Battling for DV REFORM
Taking Action Host Alexis A. Moore, President and founder of Survivors In Action and guests will be discussing DV REFORM on the anniversary of the "Open Letter to Lynn Rosenthal" and the DV REFORM petition that reached over 10K signatures in less than a year.
Tuesday, July 6, 2010
Survivor Radio Cafe
http://www.blogtalkradio.com/survivorradiocafe.rss
An online radio show ARCHIVE that is geared toward survivors of any trauma. We are all a survivor or secondary survivor of something; whether it's sexual abuse, domestic violence, chronic illness or cancer, P.T.S.D., Mental Illness, grief...ect, and it is important to understand that we are not alone. We can heal and bring awareness to some of the most personal issues facing this world today. Ginger & Haullie touch on certain topics in these archived broadcasts. Listen to special guest interviews, poetry readings, inspirational music, authors, announcements on festivals, host topic discussions for listeners to call in to, and so much more!! Guest participation and further interviews have been cancelled due to Ginger & Haullie both becoming Mommies at the same time and therefore having little or no time to devote to the Survivor Radio Cafe; however we are appriciative of your continued support & dedication to the shows we have provided. If you would like to contact us in the future please E-mail Ginger Gillenwater at: gethang04@roadrunner.com
Women Who dreamBIG w/ Michelle Renee
Women Who dreamBIG w/ Michelle Renee
http://www.blogtalkradio.com/womenwhodreambig/2009/11/11/women-who-dreambig-w-michelle-renee
http://www.blogtalkradio.com/womenwhodreambig/2009/11/11/women-who-dreambig-w-michelle-renee
What do domestic violence survivors and veterans have in common? Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, or PTSD. Today I will be discussing PTSD and a recent breakthrough client who called on the brink of collapse. What is PTSD? What are triggers? Why can't I just "get over it"? We will discuss these questions and more today with domestic violence survivor and awareness advocate Linda Rae Foster on Women Who dream BIG.
Listen to internet radio with Michelle Renee on Blog Talk Radio
Susan Murphy Milano Blogtalkradio show
http://www.blogtalkradio.com/susanmurphymilano.rss
Susan Murphy Milano, Author, Speaker, Violence Safety Strategist and Consultant and Celebrity Spokesperson, has been featured on Oprah, 20/20, The Justice Files, US News & World Report, USA Today, The E Network, The Associated Press, Family Circle Magazine, CNN and NBC's Sunday Today. Susan's valuable resources are what every single female going through a divorce must have on her bedside stand, not only will they guide you through the journey, her strategic voice, plans, forms, tools and insight will literally save others thousands in divorce and abuse related costly fees as well as clearly map out the course to take towards a successful and safe future. For more on purchasing Susan's books, hiring her for a speaking engagement and/or personal coaching consultation, please visit her website at http://www.susanmurphymilano.com
One Child Abuse Survivor 2 another
One Child Abuse Survivor 2 another
Need a friend? Want to tell your story? Want to help others who are suffering from PTSD, or survivors of child abuse, domestic violence, but do not know how, we can find the answers together. Join me for a daily walk from one child abuse survivor to another. I am not a counselor, have no experience counselling others, I am not a legal representative and I can give no legal advice. I am just one survivor who cares very much for others and just one more voice saying "Stop Child Abuse!!" and "Stop Domestic Violence" and "Stop Human Rights Abuses"! Join me and raise your voice! We do count! It does matter!
Listen to internet radio with Laurie Smith on Blog Talk Radio
One Child Abuse Survivor 2 another on Laurie Smith will air 08/05
One Child Abuse Survivor 2 another on Laurie Smith Upcoming Show: 8/5/2010 5:00 AM.
on BlogTalkRadio
Need a friend? Want to tell your story? Want to help others who are suffering from PTSD, or survivors of child abuse, domestic violence, but do not know how, we can find the answers together. Join me for a daily walk from one child abuse survivor to another. I am not a counselor, have no experience counselling others, I am not a legal representative and I can give no legal advice. I am just one survivor who cares very much for others and just one more voice saying "Stop Child Abuse!!" and "Stop Domestic Violence" and "Stop Human Rights Abuses"! Join me and raise your voice! We do count! It does matter!
Monday, July 5, 2010
Purple♡Hearts 4 Butterflies ✞ MEETUP in Bakerfield, Ca 93312
http://purplehearts4butterflies.tumblr.com/
http://purplehearts4butterflies.blogspot.com/
http://twitter.com/droselady
http://purplehearts4butterflies.posterous.com/
We share about our experiences regarding violent
http://purplehearts4butterflies.blogspot.com/
http://twitter.com/droselady
http://purplehearts4butterflies.posterous.com/
We have a "meet up" in Bakersfield, Ca, 93312 on the Second (2nd) Saturday of the month @ 11am
(we meet at Denney's back room on W. Rosedale Hwy in the Target/Walmart shopping center, You don't HAVE to spend anything if you don't have it. If you are able to, a beverage would be great so we can stay meeting there where we are safe)
Questions? leave message and I'll get back with you within a day: 916-799-0907We share about our experiences regarding violent
abuses, sexual abuses, child abuses, domestic
abuses, rapes, to ever stripping, and prostituting
due to maybe we were homeless, had low self
esteem, or no where to go or live or anyone to turn
to, and we will support and pray for one another.
You will walk away feeling loved,supported,
understood, and not judged or “weird”. We share
our hope and positive stories; how we got out and
got safe, how we've changed, what God has done in us so far, etc..
We can help others, or share the present
situation you are in, and how you are dealing with
it. We share with each other our hurts and painful
memories in hopes to be set free from the pain and
receive God’s joy, grace and love!
Come, and pray to God for one another, for His help,
support, guidance and direction in our lives towards healing and victory!
If you don't live near by you can start a support meet up group as well. If you would like a guide to help you follow, I recommend "The Christian Guide to the 12 Steps" and apply it to this topic//issue/subject!
If you don't live near by you can start a support meet up group as well. If you would like a guide to help you follow, I recommend "The Christian Guide to the 12 Steps" and apply it to this topic//issue/subject!
Our Goals and Vision
My heart's desire is to be open to what God has for me to do for His precious princess's! I was once horribly wounded and scared, but now a day at a time I'm becoming healed in the reality of my mind! I know I am healed immediately in God eyes the moment I prayed and asked, but since I am human and have the human brain which we only use 10% of, I can only experience the healing in a tangible way gently one step at a time. Time does heal wounds if we are willing to allow ourselves to take on God's healing touch. I was once a very shut up little wounded soul wrapped up in a sort of a cocoon but now because of the touch of the Master's hand- God/Jesus, I am now free to fly and reveal all the many mosaic patterns of myself as does a butterfly! - ONE DAY AT A TIME- as I am able. I do still have set backs, but I do come out of them way faster today than I ever have in the past. Healing is happening and real!! Healing of the emotions and mind is a little different than say, having one leg that in shorter than the other leg, get "adjusted" by God's healing power, and instantly you SEE it extend and measure up evenly. I have SEEN that type of healing numerously through out my 30 years of Christianity, but the emotional and mental being is much more delicate, needs a tactful, careful, thoughtful, & sensitive handling, and with God's touch, who is the MASTER, it can and will be done, IF we OPEN ourselves up to what HE wants us to do. And that's the ticket right there. Are we ready to DO what NEEDS to be done to LET the healing come?
http://purplehearts4butterflies.tumblr.com/
http://purplehearts4butterflies.blogspot.com/
http://twitter.com/droselady
http://purplehearts4butterflies.tumblr.com/
http://purplehearts4butterflies.blogspot.com/
http://twitter.com/droselady
Sunday, July 4, 2010
Welcome to my Blog Site, but really not just mine..but ALL of ours! My STORY in a NUT SHELL
Hello fellow survivors, friends and loved ones of survivors!
My name is Donna. Some know me as Donna D'Rose. Let me tell you a little bit about me, my background, and my vision I believe God has given me.
I'm nearing 50 years old and I am survivor!
Let my "qualify" myself first (warning- it's a crazy mess!):
I am a survivor of child abuse, child sexual assault, rape(s), drug and alcohol(which is a drug too) abuse, domestic violence, emotional, mental and verbal abuse from my ex (minister) husband, who still travels around the world on his listeners dime being a minister and author of Christian books, who didn't pay Child Support (after he abandoned us at my grandmothers house) while I was left to raise my 2 children alone, so I worked 3-4 jobs, 7 days a week, to take care of their needs so they wouldn't "feel" deprived, emotional abuse from 2nd husband (who was a con-artist to me saying he was divorced so I would go out with him, to find out he was very much married!, then when I left him, he who stole thousands of dollars from poor elderly ladies, sick people with AIDS, employers, and had to go to jail, while in jail got his divorce, then came to me in front of my children and grandmother with a ring and divorce papers rolled into the band of an engagement ring, getting my kids and grandmother so happy and excited, I felt I had to say yes,( which was the stupidest, co-dependent decision ) and then stole my grandmother's VISA card and charged 5000. on it the day before wedding, but didn't find out till after honeymoon, who later I found out was an closet alcoholic that I didn't even know he drank! Survived addiction to over the counter diet pills (basically speed) to counteract my eating disorder of bulimia, and to keep me awake do work the 3 jobs a day and 4 separate jobs 7 days a week, then my 180 units at College majoring in Psychology, and art. I also found my way to various 12 Step meetings to learn the program and how I can help me in all my areas of need to finally discovering I can apply them to my various abuse memories and PTSD.
I am still in the process of learning, and will be until God brings me home. I am not a licensed therapist, but I am a Survivor, Addict, Woman of God, Mother, Daughter, in Recovery. Taking it One Day at a Time, learning to live Life on Life's Terms/God's Terms, no more my terms. Because my "terms" always brought me pain, tears, heartbreak, guilt, and bad decision making.
Living life a day at a time, just for now/today, through prayer, sharing with others, listening to others suggestions, and discerning God's will, and taking Jesus' hand for guidance is much easier then doing MY WILL, then suffering the consequences. I have suffered one too many consequences to the point, I just don't WANT to do MY WILL anymore. It just gets me into trouble and more pain.
Today, amazingly after all this, I am an Advocate to Women of Abuse(s), whether sexual abuse, or addiction, domestic violence, rape, adult children of child abuse, dysfunctional/alcoholic homes and whatever is related to these areas. I love Christ and the Father God and His Helper The Holy Spirit, and I want to share His UNENDING LOVE for us ALL, no matter what we've done in the pass, HE LOVES US JUST AS WE ARE!!! I want to be a source and resource of help to women and young women/teenagers girls.
I have a deep heart for the survivor males very much, but God hasn't called me to "work" with them at this time. I believe it is not "safe" for me to "help" men, being that I'm a woman. I've seen TOO many of those situations end up in confusing, frustrating, complicated relationships instead of receiving God's Joy and Freedom He so wants us to have. I believe it is best and wise and for the most part it's much of comfortable for me to listen and share with women. I have and do on occasion listen to men, but generally I try to direct them to other men or organizations that can be of help and service to them much better than what I can give.
As far back as I can remember, I have always had a passion to help people. As a kid, I started out wanting to be an animal doctor to care and help people's pets feel better.
Then I went from there to wanting to be an Artist. I thought I could help people take a time out from their life's stresses, and soak themselves up in gazing in my various mediums of art.
Then, I thought, I wanted to really make a difference and help people by being a lawyer for them. Be their voice. (why I thought that I could be heard for other people, I have no idea, since my own voice was never heard- I was always ignored or not listened too). Fight for them.
It was said to me over and over and over, that I would never amount up to anything. That I could never stick it out in College. Unfortunately, I believed what I was being told. Figured, fine, I just want to be a really good mother. A loving mother, and mother who listens, encourages, read stories too, tuck in bed and pray next the bed, guide in homework, be involved in the school's Parent/Teacher groups, cook dinner at the normal dinner hour-6:00, etc... I think for the most part I did just about all of the above. Unfortunately, there was a few years, the years that I worked too much, that the stress, and diet pills took it's toll on me and I became what I hoped I never ever would become. I became a yeller. I yelled in my home a lot. I had no patience anymore. I would loose control over myself and "flip out" yelling like a "mad woman"! One time I lose myself so bad, I threw a solid crystal, lemon size, ornament at my child. I can still see it in my minds' eye to this day. It just missed my child's head. I saw what I did and carried such deep guilt for so many, many years. I could of killed my own child if it hit the head! How could I of done that? I promised myself I would never hurt my kids the way I was raise. I carried this horrible pain and guilt and shame with me for a very long time. I couldn't get it out of my mind. Today, thank God, I have found peace and understanding, that it wasn't intentional, but most of all, God forgave me. He knows how sorry I was for that. I just don't know if my child has ever forgiven me or release it to God. I hate to bring it up, because I don't want to think about it. I'm forgiven, it's forgotten, and it has never happened again. Thank you Lord!
I use to listen to Focus on the Family with Dr Dobson, every day. He was my "teacher" on how to raise children. He always taught to never spank with your hand. Because your hand is an extension of God, and extension of you and should always be used to show and share God's love, your love to the children, so they will never be afraid of your hand coming out to them when you reach to them to hug them, or fit their hair away from their eyes, or rub food off of their face, etc.. Hands should always be givers of love not givers of pain. So to use something, the same something at all times, that won't bruise, make welts, or break bones. The fly swatter was a suggestion. But say you were out shopping and the child acts up really bad in the store. You need to stop your shopping,( you can always go back) and right then and there go outside to the car to spank them if necessary, or just go home and ground them, or talk to them about the bad behavior, and explain they were not going to get any "special treat". If a spanking was called for, have a fly swatter in the car trunk, of use your sandal or flat shoe. Something that won't bruise, welt, or leave handprint or marks. Just enough for them to get the point that their behavior was not ok. So this is what I did, I usually, "grounded" them, or took their favorite toy away, or TV away, or no friends over. Sometimes after all the above didn't help, I would spank them on their "behinds" only. That's why we have extra "cushion" there! I heard once. But it scared me to spank, because my whole childhood, my body was full of bruises, welts, red hand prints, bumps, hole pokes, brush marks, etc...
Well, there was a time, we had to live in this family's home. They gave us their livable basement which was their "rec room", to stay in. The husband and wife, I knew from my church. Well, they told me that I was spanking properly. That it wasn't hurting them enough so they weren't getting the point, so they continued on still doing what they weren't suppose to do. They proceeded to explain to me that "you have to spank until they cry. So if they cry at 2 you stop, but if they were stubborn and didn't cry until 20, then you spank 20 times. They was way to overboard to me I thought. No, I will do it how I was doing it, - I didn't want to over "hurt" them. Just get the point across. I wasn't going to beat them the way I was beaten!!
One day, one of my kids did something in their upstairs part of their home that wasn't ok. The wife told me about what happened. I told her that I will have a talk. She proceeded to explain to me that I needed to spank the way they were telling me it was to be done. They said go outside with the child, and pull a twig off from the tree. Then spank the child until they cry. So I told my child that I had to spank him because of what was done was wrong. I spanked him 1, 2, 3, times and no crying. 4, 5, 6, still no crying. My gut was telling me to stop, that is way enough. But according to the lady and husband it's not done until they cry. My child wouldn't cry. Stubborn. I explained that I will continue on spanking until crying happens. That crying was a sign that they learned the lesson. (They "got" it.) But, for some reason, my child wouldn't cry. My goodness, I prayed, please cry! This goes against every bone in my body! Please cry, God please let the crying begin! But no, too too stubborn. I ended up counting to 20 until finally the crying began. Thank God! I was crying myself! I felt horrible! I felt like I was an abuser! I told myself no way was I going to do that again!
I have never forgot that day, that experience. I prayed, Lord this can't be right! I continued to listen to Doctor Dobson. That spanking should be the last resort. Not the first choice.
I remember, trying to find the right "instrument" to use when spanking. I practiced on myself. I tried the flat, wide plywood of the ping pong paddle you could buy for a dollar with the ball attached to it with a elastic string. That couldn't give welts or bruises I thought to myself after trying it on my thighs. It just smarts. But then I heard it might could shatter the bones. So I stopped using those and started to look for something else.
I tried next, the fly swatter. I tried that on myself and yikes that stung! But it was pliable and bendable, soft to the skin and bones, and you only need 1 or 2 strikes and the message was made. So that is what i used after all the other ways were exhausted. Sadly, my kids pushed and pushed and seemed to never learn, or maybe they did learn, but they didn't want me to know. so they continued on disobeying and choosing to do the wrong things and break the rules. It was very hard for me. I so much wanted to be a loving, happy mom, but they continually pushed to the limits. I hated spanking. Thankfully, I never "over did" it again. Until...things were getting way out of hand.
I worked too much, drove long distances. Stressed because my kids never heard from their dad. I never got child support, work, work, work. Always tired. Wanting to have a life too. Drive to work, drive to boy scouts, girl scouts, soccer, swimming, gymnastics, the theater classes/play practices, church, schools, daycare, basketball practice, youth group, being alone....it just finally got to a head you might say. All this and then the "speed"/ diet pills, and I just lost it one night. That was the night of the solid crystal piece I threw.
But looking back, I can see, that in many ways, yes my mother came with me in my life, like a shadow, but overall, for the most part, i did not treat my children nothing even close to how i was treated. And I thank God and praise God for that. They didn't get the life I wish or dreamed they would of had, but at least they were victims of child abuse. But, sadly, they are survivors of a dysfunctional home unfortunately. I pray for them daily that they turn to God for their help, teacher and comfort, and to work through their painful memories, of what once was a happy family, with mommy and daddy, to just mommy and mommy working to much and stressing out too much. I know God will help them just as He helps me, when they turn to Him once a for all. Turning their lives and wills over to Him, for He cares sooooo much for them, that He laid down His life for them, so that they too will receive His love and freedom, so they too will fly freely as beautiful butterflies renewed in His love, just as I am and you can and will!
I have since those growing years with my children, have still suffered from PTSD from my childhood traumas. Unfortunately, various horrible things have happened due to my behavior patterns, obsessive behaviors, and making bad/wrong/unhealthy choices for myself. One being, I was sexually assaulted in 2005. It was horribly painful, and nearly died. I had to have immediate surgery to repair my insides from what had happened to me. I dealt with the pain of that traumatic night. But sadly, I don't make myself available or even go around men at all now. When I do exchange looks with a man, I clam up and get busy doing something else to avoid talking to him. But I know this is ok for me for a season. The season will end when I feel a peace in that area. But for now, I believe this is my season to know Donna again. What do I like to do? What are my hobbies? Building up myself, building up my confidence, getting closer to God, and being of whatever service I can to other survivors. I can share truthfully without fear of judgment because I know, I am forgiven, I know I did the best I could at the time with what I knew at that time. And that I did constantly pray for help. Constantly read good parenting books, co-dependent books, books on the grace of God, books of His forgiveness, the 12 Step books, learning to live for today as best as I can in front of the sight of God. He is continually there with me, helping me and reminding me of good choices verses bad choices, and opening my eyes to SEE the patterns that in some areas I still need to change, and SEE the old patterns that I have stopped! And when God shows me those old patterns, my confidence rises, and it creates a domino effect. I start to recognize another pattern of behaviors or choices that needs improvement and change.
Living day to day is very exciting, because I can actually SEE the change happening.
I hope and pray for you as well to receive inner healing from God in one area at a time as He and you work together, along with sharing and listening to other fellow survivors as ourselves. There is much need out there for us. So many are stuck in the thinking they will never be ok.
That is a lie straight from the devil himself!! The father of lies! Don't believe those negative lies that will only hold you back from becoming FREE to FLY Beautiful with your survivor clothes of purple and God's grace and FREEDOM as the Beautiful Butterflies do!
I hope you enjoy this site, post anything applicable to the subject at hand, events, resources, classes, groups, church events, special speakers, suggestions on certain subjects- I want this to be a site for YOU and for us ALL. Your special place to vent, share, pray, and share your growth in various areas, and praise/good reports happening in your lives.
I hope we all can have this same vision and help one another without judgment, with God's love and understanding. God Bless you are your journey to fly FREE with God, FREE to FINALLY BE YOU! Find out WHO you Really Are underneath the masks that we are so good at designing for ourselves. Break FREE from those various MASKS and be FREE as a BUTTERFLY! Dress yourselves in God Royal Color of PURPLE and receive YOUR PURPLE HEART OF SURVIVORSHIP! You've earned it!! Display it BOLDLY and FREELY with God by your side at all times! He is always with you, He will never Leave YOU once you turn over your will and your life over to HIM, ONE DAY AT A TIME, JUST A DAY AT A TIME!
That's it! It's that easy and simple- REALLY. People think there's something they have to do tangible, or penance, or get up something first. But no, it is just the opposite. Just come as you are to Him. That's it. Day by day, the more you grow, the closer you get to Him, the clearer your understanding gets of Him, the more you drink from His thirst-quenching word.
Please read the post titled Goals and Vision
My name is Donna. Some know me as Donna D'Rose. Let me tell you a little bit about me, my background, and my vision I believe God has given me.
I'm nearing 50 years old and I am survivor!
Let my "qualify" myself first (warning- it's a crazy mess!):
I am a survivor of child abuse, child sexual assault, rape(s), drug and alcohol(which is a drug too) abuse, domestic violence, emotional, mental and verbal abuse from my ex (minister) husband, who still travels around the world on his listeners dime being a minister and author of Christian books, who didn't pay Child Support (after he abandoned us at my grandmothers house) while I was left to raise my 2 children alone, so I worked 3-4 jobs, 7 days a week, to take care of their needs so they wouldn't "feel" deprived, emotional abuse from 2nd husband (who was a con-artist to me saying he was divorced so I would go out with him, to find out he was very much married!, then when I left him, he who stole thousands of dollars from poor elderly ladies, sick people with AIDS, employers, and had to go to jail, while in jail got his divorce, then came to me in front of my children and grandmother with a ring and divorce papers rolled into the band of an engagement ring, getting my kids and grandmother so happy and excited, I felt I had to say yes,( which was the stupidest, co-dependent decision ) and then stole my grandmother's VISA card and charged 5000. on it the day before wedding, but didn't find out till after honeymoon, who later I found out was an closet alcoholic that I didn't even know he drank! Survived addiction to over the counter diet pills (basically speed) to counteract my eating disorder of bulimia, and to keep me awake do work the 3 jobs a day and 4 separate jobs 7 days a week, then my 180 units at College majoring in Psychology, and art. I also found my way to various 12 Step meetings to learn the program and how I can help me in all my areas of need to finally discovering I can apply them to my various abuse memories and PTSD.
I am still in the process of learning, and will be until God brings me home. I am not a licensed therapist, but I am a Survivor, Addict, Woman of God, Mother, Daughter, in Recovery. Taking it One Day at a Time, learning to live Life on Life's Terms/God's Terms, no more my terms. Because my "terms" always brought me pain, tears, heartbreak, guilt, and bad decision making.
Living life a day at a time, just for now/today, through prayer, sharing with others, listening to others suggestions, and discerning God's will, and taking Jesus' hand for guidance is much easier then doing MY WILL, then suffering the consequences. I have suffered one too many consequences to the point, I just don't WANT to do MY WILL anymore. It just gets me into trouble and more pain.
Today, amazingly after all this, I am an Advocate to Women of Abuse(s), whether sexual abuse, or addiction, domestic violence, rape, adult children of child abuse, dysfunctional/alcoholic homes and whatever is related to these areas. I love Christ and the Father God and His Helper The Holy Spirit, and I want to share His UNENDING LOVE for us ALL, no matter what we've done in the pass, HE LOVES US JUST AS WE ARE!!! I want to be a source and resource of help to women and young women/teenagers girls.
I have a deep heart for the survivor males very much, but God hasn't called me to "work" with them at this time. I believe it is not "safe" for me to "help" men, being that I'm a woman. I've seen TOO many of those situations end up in confusing, frustrating, complicated relationships instead of receiving God's Joy and Freedom He so wants us to have. I believe it is best and wise and for the most part it's much of comfortable for me to listen and share with women. I have and do on occasion listen to men, but generally I try to direct them to other men or organizations that can be of help and service to them much better than what I can give.
As far back as I can remember, I have always had a passion to help people. As a kid, I started out wanting to be an animal doctor to care and help people's pets feel better.
Then I went from there to wanting to be an Artist. I thought I could help people take a time out from their life's stresses, and soak themselves up in gazing in my various mediums of art.
Then, I thought, I wanted to really make a difference and help people by being a lawyer for them. Be their voice. (why I thought that I could be heard for other people, I have no idea, since my own voice was never heard- I was always ignored or not listened too). Fight for them.
It was said to me over and over and over, that I would never amount up to anything. That I could never stick it out in College. Unfortunately, I believed what I was being told. Figured, fine, I just want to be a really good mother. A loving mother, and mother who listens, encourages, read stories too, tuck in bed and pray next the bed, guide in homework, be involved in the school's Parent/Teacher groups, cook dinner at the normal dinner hour-6:00, etc... I think for the most part I did just about all of the above. Unfortunately, there was a few years, the years that I worked too much, that the stress, and diet pills took it's toll on me and I became what I hoped I never ever would become. I became a yeller. I yelled in my home a lot. I had no patience anymore. I would loose control over myself and "flip out" yelling like a "mad woman"! One time I lose myself so bad, I threw a solid crystal, lemon size, ornament at my child. I can still see it in my minds' eye to this day. It just missed my child's head. I saw what I did and carried such deep guilt for so many, many years. I could of killed my own child if it hit the head! How could I of done that? I promised myself I would never hurt my kids the way I was raise. I carried this horrible pain and guilt and shame with me for a very long time. I couldn't get it out of my mind. Today, thank God, I have found peace and understanding, that it wasn't intentional, but most of all, God forgave me. He knows how sorry I was for that. I just don't know if my child has ever forgiven me or release it to God. I hate to bring it up, because I don't want to think about it. I'm forgiven, it's forgotten, and it has never happened again. Thank you Lord!
I use to listen to Focus on the Family with Dr Dobson, every day. He was my "teacher" on how to raise children. He always taught to never spank with your hand. Because your hand is an extension of God, and extension of you and should always be used to show and share God's love, your love to the children, so they will never be afraid of your hand coming out to them when you reach to them to hug them, or fit their hair away from their eyes, or rub food off of their face, etc.. Hands should always be givers of love not givers of pain. So to use something, the same something at all times, that won't bruise, make welts, or break bones. The fly swatter was a suggestion. But say you were out shopping and the child acts up really bad in the store. You need to stop your shopping,( you can always go back) and right then and there go outside to the car to spank them if necessary, or just go home and ground them, or talk to them about the bad behavior, and explain they were not going to get any "special treat". If a spanking was called for, have a fly swatter in the car trunk, of use your sandal or flat shoe. Something that won't bruise, welt, or leave handprint or marks. Just enough for them to get the point that their behavior was not ok. So this is what I did, I usually, "grounded" them, or took their favorite toy away, or TV away, or no friends over. Sometimes after all the above didn't help, I would spank them on their "behinds" only. That's why we have extra "cushion" there! I heard once. But it scared me to spank, because my whole childhood, my body was full of bruises, welts, red hand prints, bumps, hole pokes, brush marks, etc...
Well, there was a time, we had to live in this family's home. They gave us their livable basement which was their "rec room", to stay in. The husband and wife, I knew from my church. Well, they told me that I was spanking properly. That it wasn't hurting them enough so they weren't getting the point, so they continued on still doing what they weren't suppose to do. They proceeded to explain to me that "you have to spank until they cry. So if they cry at 2 you stop, but if they were stubborn and didn't cry until 20, then you spank 20 times. They was way to overboard to me I thought. No, I will do it how I was doing it, - I didn't want to over "hurt" them. Just get the point across. I wasn't going to beat them the way I was beaten!!
One day, one of my kids did something in their upstairs part of their home that wasn't ok. The wife told me about what happened. I told her that I will have a talk. She proceeded to explain to me that I needed to spank the way they were telling me it was to be done. They said go outside with the child, and pull a twig off from the tree. Then spank the child until they cry. So I told my child that I had to spank him because of what was done was wrong. I spanked him 1, 2, 3, times and no crying. 4, 5, 6, still no crying. My gut was telling me to stop, that is way enough. But according to the lady and husband it's not done until they cry. My child wouldn't cry. Stubborn. I explained that I will continue on spanking until crying happens. That crying was a sign that they learned the lesson. (They "got" it.) But, for some reason, my child wouldn't cry. My goodness, I prayed, please cry! This goes against every bone in my body! Please cry, God please let the crying begin! But no, too too stubborn. I ended up counting to 20 until finally the crying began. Thank God! I was crying myself! I felt horrible! I felt like I was an abuser! I told myself no way was I going to do that again!
I have never forgot that day, that experience. I prayed, Lord this can't be right! I continued to listen to Doctor Dobson. That spanking should be the last resort. Not the first choice.
I remember, trying to find the right "instrument" to use when spanking. I practiced on myself. I tried the flat, wide plywood of the ping pong paddle you could buy for a dollar with the ball attached to it with a elastic string. That couldn't give welts or bruises I thought to myself after trying it on my thighs. It just smarts. But then I heard it might could shatter the bones. So I stopped using those and started to look for something else.
I tried next, the fly swatter. I tried that on myself and yikes that stung! But it was pliable and bendable, soft to the skin and bones, and you only need 1 or 2 strikes and the message was made. So that is what i used after all the other ways were exhausted. Sadly, my kids pushed and pushed and seemed to never learn, or maybe they did learn, but they didn't want me to know. so they continued on disobeying and choosing to do the wrong things and break the rules. It was very hard for me. I so much wanted to be a loving, happy mom, but they continually pushed to the limits. I hated spanking. Thankfully, I never "over did" it again. Until...things were getting way out of hand.
I worked too much, drove long distances. Stressed because my kids never heard from their dad. I never got child support, work, work, work. Always tired. Wanting to have a life too. Drive to work, drive to boy scouts, girl scouts, soccer, swimming, gymnastics, the theater classes/play practices, church, schools, daycare, basketball practice, youth group, being alone....it just finally got to a head you might say. All this and then the "speed"/ diet pills, and I just lost it one night. That was the night of the solid crystal piece I threw.
But looking back, I can see, that in many ways, yes my mother came with me in my life, like a shadow, but overall, for the most part, i did not treat my children nothing even close to how i was treated. And I thank God and praise God for that. They didn't get the life I wish or dreamed they would of had, but at least they were victims of child abuse. But, sadly, they are survivors of a dysfunctional home unfortunately. I pray for them daily that they turn to God for their help, teacher and comfort, and to work through their painful memories, of what once was a happy family, with mommy and daddy, to just mommy and mommy working to much and stressing out too much. I know God will help them just as He helps me, when they turn to Him once a for all. Turning their lives and wills over to Him, for He cares sooooo much for them, that He laid down His life for them, so that they too will receive His love and freedom, so they too will fly freely as beautiful butterflies renewed in His love, just as I am and you can and will!
I have since those growing years with my children, have still suffered from PTSD from my childhood traumas. Unfortunately, various horrible things have happened due to my behavior patterns, obsessive behaviors, and making bad/wrong/unhealthy choices for myself. One being, I was sexually assaulted in 2005. It was horribly painful, and nearly died. I had to have immediate surgery to repair my insides from what had happened to me. I dealt with the pain of that traumatic night. But sadly, I don't make myself available or even go around men at all now. When I do exchange looks with a man, I clam up and get busy doing something else to avoid talking to him. But I know this is ok for me for a season. The season will end when I feel a peace in that area. But for now, I believe this is my season to know Donna again. What do I like to do? What are my hobbies? Building up myself, building up my confidence, getting closer to God, and being of whatever service I can to other survivors. I can share truthfully without fear of judgment because I know, I am forgiven, I know I did the best I could at the time with what I knew at that time. And that I did constantly pray for help. Constantly read good parenting books, co-dependent books, books on the grace of God, books of His forgiveness, the 12 Step books, learning to live for today as best as I can in front of the sight of God. He is continually there with me, helping me and reminding me of good choices verses bad choices, and opening my eyes to SEE the patterns that in some areas I still need to change, and SEE the old patterns that I have stopped! And when God shows me those old patterns, my confidence rises, and it creates a domino effect. I start to recognize another pattern of behaviors or choices that needs improvement and change.
Living day to day is very exciting, because I can actually SEE the change happening.
I hope and pray for you as well to receive inner healing from God in one area at a time as He and you work together, along with sharing and listening to other fellow survivors as ourselves. There is much need out there for us. So many are stuck in the thinking they will never be ok.
That is a lie straight from the devil himself!! The father of lies! Don't believe those negative lies that will only hold you back from becoming FREE to FLY Beautiful with your survivor clothes of purple and God's grace and FREEDOM as the Beautiful Butterflies do!
I hope you enjoy this site, post anything applicable to the subject at hand, events, resources, classes, groups, church events, special speakers, suggestions on certain subjects- I want this to be a site for YOU and for us ALL. Your special place to vent, share, pray, and share your growth in various areas, and praise/good reports happening in your lives.
I hope we all can have this same vision and help one another without judgment, with God's love and understanding. God Bless you are your journey to fly FREE with God, FREE to FINALLY BE YOU! Find out WHO you Really Are underneath the masks that we are so good at designing for ourselves. Break FREE from those various MASKS and be FREE as a BUTTERFLY! Dress yourselves in God Royal Color of PURPLE and receive YOUR PURPLE HEART OF SURVIVORSHIP! You've earned it!! Display it BOLDLY and FREELY with God by your side at all times! He is always with you, He will never Leave YOU once you turn over your will and your life over to HIM, ONE DAY AT A TIME, JUST A DAY AT A TIME!
That's it! It's that easy and simple- REALLY. People think there's something they have to do tangible, or penance, or get up something first. But no, it is just the opposite. Just come as you are to Him. That's it. Day by day, the more you grow, the closer you get to Him, the clearer your understanding gets of Him, the more you drink from His thirst-quenching word.
Please read the post titled Goals and Vision
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