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The Role of Family and Friends in a Bipolar Person's Life

Written by HealthyPlace.com Staff Writer - Dec 2008

In trying to support a person with bipolar disorder, how do you make sense of the ups, downs and sometimes downright craziness? Supporting Someone with Bipolar - For Family and Friends- When one member of a family has bipolar disorder, the illness affects everyone else in the family. Family members often feel confused and alienated when a person is having an episode and is not acting like him or herself. During manic phases, family and friends may watch in disbelief as their loved one transforms into a person they do not know and cannot communicate with. During episodes of depression, everyone can become frustrated, desperately trying to cheer up the depressed person. And sometimes a person's moods are so unpredictable that family members may feel that they're stuck on a rollercoaster ride that's out of control. It can be tough, but family members and friends need to remember that having bipolar disorder is not the fault of the afflicted person. Supporting their loved one can make all the difference - whether it means assuming extra responsibilities around the house during a depressive episode, or admitting a loved one to the hospital during a severe manic phase. Coping with bipolar disorder is not always easy for family and friends. Luckily, support groups are available for family members and friends of a person with bipolar disorder. Your doctor or mental health professional can give you some information about support groups in your area. Recognizing Symptoms of Bipolar Disorder- Never forget that the person with bipolar disorder does not have control of his or her mood state. Those of us who do not suffer from a mood disorder sometimes expect mood-disorder patients to be able to exert the same control over their emotions and behavior that we ourselves are able to. When we sense that we are letting our emotions get the better of us and we want to exert some control over them, we tell ourselves things like "Snap out of it," "Get a hold of yourself," "Try and pull yourself out of it." We are taught that self-control is a sign of maturity and self-discipline. We are indoctrinated to think of people who don't control their emotions very well as being immature, lazy, self-indulgent, or foolish. But you can only exert self-control if the control mechanisms are working properly, and in people with mood disorders, they are not. People with mood disorders cannot "snap out of it," much as they would like to (and it's important to remember that they want desperately to be able to). Telling a depressed person things like "pull yourself out of it" is cruel and may in fact reinforce the feelings of worthlessness, guilt, and failure already present as symptoms of the illness. Telling a manic person to "slow down and get a hold of yourself" is simply wishful thinking; that person is like a tractor trailer careening down a mountain highway with no brakes. So the first challenge facing family and friends is to change the way they look at behaviors that might be symptoms of the illness - behaviors like not wanting to get out of bed, being irritable and short-tempered, being "hyper" and reckless or overly critical and pessimistic. Our first reaction to these sorts of behaviors and attitudes is to regard them as laziness, meanness, or immaturity and be critical of them. In a person with bipolar disorder, this almost always makes things worse; criticism reinforces the depressed patient's feelings of worthlessness and failure, and it alienates and angers the hypomanic or manic patient. This is a hard lesson to learn. Don't always take behaviors and statements at face value. Learn to ask yourself, "Could this be a symptom?" before you react. Little children frequently say "I hate you" when they are angry at their parents, but good parents know that this is just the anger of the moment talking; those are not their child's true feelings. Manic patients will say "I hate you" too, but this is the illness talking, an illness that has hijacked the patient's emotions. The depressed patient will say, "It's hopeless, I don't want your help." Again, this is the illness and not your loved one rejecting your concern. Now a warning against the other extreme: interpreting every strong emotion in a person with a mood disorder as a symptom. The other extreme is just as important to guard against. It's possible to jump to the conclusion that everything the person with the diagnosis does that might be foolish or risky is a symptom of illness, even to the point where the person is hauled into the psychiatrist's office for a "medication adjustment" every time he or she disagrees with spouse, partner, or parents. A vicious cycle can get going wherein some bold idea or enthusiasm, or even plain old foolishness or stubbornness, is labeled as "getting manic," leading to feelings of anger and resentment in the person with the diagnosis. When these angry feelings get expressed, they seem to confirm the family's suspicion that the person is "getting sick again," leading to more criticism, more anger, and so on. "He's getting sick again" sometimes becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy; so much anger and emotional stress get generated that a relapse DOES occur because the person with the illness stops taking the medication that controls his or her symptoms out of frustration and anger and shame: "Why bother staying well, if I'm always treated as if I were sick?" So how does one walk this fine line between not taking every feeling and behavior at face value in a person with bipolar disorder and not invalidating "real" feelings by calling them symptoms? Communication is the key: honest and open communication. Ask the person with the illness about his or her moods, make observations about behaviors, express concerns in a caring, supportive way. Go along with your family member to doctors' appointments, and share your observations and concerns during the visit in his or her presence. Above all, do not call the therapist or psychiatrist and say, "I don't want my (husband, wife, son, daughter, fill in the blank) to know that I called you, but I think it's important to tell you that..." There's nothing more infuriating or demeaning than to have someone sneaking around reporting on you behind your back. Remember that your goal is to have your family member trust you when he or she feels most vulnerable and fragile. He or she is already dealing with feelings of deep shame, failure, and loss of control related to having a psychiatric illness. Be supportive, and yes, be constructively critical when criticism is warranted. But above all, be open, honest, and sincere. More on Safety- Never forget that bipolar disorder can occassionally precipitate truly dangerous behavior. Kay Jamison writes of the "dark, fierce and damaging energy" of mania, and the even darker specter of suicidal violence haunts those with serious depression. Violence is often a difficult subject to deal with because the idea is deeply imbedded in us from an early age that violence is primitive and uncivilized and represents a kind of failure or breakdown in character.  Of course we recognize that the person in the grip of psychiatric illness is not violent because of some personal failing, and perhaps because of this there is sometimes a hesitation to admit the need for a proper response to a situation that is getting out of control; when there is some threat of violence, toward either self or others. People with bipolar disorder are at much higher risk for suicidal behavior than the general population. Although family members cannot and should not be expected to take the place of psychiatric professionals in evaluating suicide risk, it is important to have some familiarity with the issue. Patients who are starting to have suicidal thoughts are often intensely ashamed of them. They will often hint about "feeling desperate," about "not being able to go on," but may not verbalize actual self-destructive thoughts. It's important not to ignore these statements but rather to clarify them. Don't be afraid to ask, "Are you having thoughts of hurting yourself?" People are usually relieved to be able to talk about these feelings and get them out into the open where they can be dealt with. But they may need permission and support in order to do so. Remember that the period of recovery from a depressive episode can be one of especially high risk for suicidal behavior. People who have been immobilized by depression sometimes develop a higher risk for hurting themselves as they begin to get better and their energy level and ability to act improve. Patients having mixed symptoms - depressed mood and agitated, restless, hyperactive behavior - may also be at higher risk for self-harm. Another factor that increases risk of suicide is substance abuse, especially alcohol abuse. Alcohol not only worsens mood, it lowers inhibitions. People will do things when drunk that they wouldn't do otherwise. Increased use of alcohol increases the risk of suicidal behaviors and is definitely a worrisome development that needs to be confronted and acted upon. Bottom Line- Making peace with the illness is much more difficult than healthy people realize. But the harder lesson is learning that there is no way that anyone can force a person to take responsibility for his or her treatment. Unless the patient makes the commitment to do so, no amount of love and support, sympathy and understanding, cajoling or even threatening, can make someone take this step. Even family members and friends who understand this at some level may feel guilty, inadequate, and angry at times dealing with this situation. These are very normal feelings. Family members and friends should not be ashamed of these feelings of frustration and anger but rather get help with them. Even when the patient does take responsibility and is trying to stay well, relapses can occur. Family members might then wonder what they did wrong. Did I put too much pressure on? Could I have been more supportive? Why didn't I notice the symptoms coming on sooner and get him or her to the doctor? A hundred questions, a thousand "if only's," another round of guilt, frustration, and anger. On the other side of this issue is another set of questions. How much understanding and support for the bipolar person might be too much? What is protective, and what is overprotective? Should you call your loved one's boss with excuses as to why he or she isn't at work? Should you pay off credit card debts from hypomanic spending sprees caused by dropping out of treatment? What actions constitute helping a sick person, and what actions are helping a person to be sick? These are thorny, complex questions that have no easy answers. Like many chronic illnesses, bipolar disorder afflicts one but affects many in the family. It's important that all those affected get the help, support, and encouragement they need.

 

See this Amp at http://amplify.com/u/jqo8

The Role of Family and Friends in a Bipolar Person's Life

Written by HealthyPlace.com Staff Writer - Dec 2008

In trying to support a person with bipolar disorder, how do you make sense of the ups, downs and sometimes downright craziness? Supporting Someone with Bipolar - For Family and Friends- When one member of a family has bipolar disorder, the illness affects everyone else in the family. Family members often feel confused and alienated when a person is having an episode and is not acting like him or herself. During manic phases, family and friends may watch in disbelief as their loved one transforms into a person they do not know and cannot communicate with. During episodes of depression, everyone can become frustrated, desperately trying to cheer up the depressed person. And sometimes a person's moods are so unpredictable that family members may feel that they're stuck on a rollercoaster ride that's out of control. It can be tough, but family members and friends need to remember that having bipolar disorder is not the fault of the afflicted person. Supporting their loved one can make all the difference - whether it means assuming extra responsibilities around the house during a depressive episode, or admitting a loved one to the hospital during a severe manic phase. Coping with bipolar disorder is not always easy for family and friends. Luckily, support groups are available for family members and friends of a person with bipolar disorder. Your doctor or mental health professional can give you some information about support groups in your area. Recognizing Symptoms of Bipolar Disorder- Never forget that the person with bipolar disorder does not have control of his or her mood state. Those of us who do not suffer from a mood disorder sometimes expect mood-disorder patients to be able to exert the same control over their emotions and behavior that we ourselves are able to. When we sense that we are letting our emotions get the better of us and we want to exert some control over them, we tell ourselves things like "Snap out of it," "Get a hold of yourself," "Try and pull yourself out of it." We are taught that self-control is a sign of maturity and self-discipline. We are indoctrinated to think of people who don't control their emotions very well as being immature, lazy, self-indulgent, or foolish. But you can only exert self-control if the control mechanisms are working properly, and in people with mood disorders, they are not. People with mood disorders cannot "snap out of it," much as they would like to (and it's important to remember that they want desperately to be able to). Telling a depressed person things like "pull yourself out of it" is cruel and may in fact reinforce the feelings of worthlessness, guilt, and failure already present as symptoms of the illness. Telling a manic person to "slow down and get a hold of yourself" is simply wishful thinking; that person is like a tractor trailer careening down a mountain highway with no brakes. So the first challenge facing family and friends is to change the way they look at behaviors that might be symptoms of the illness - behaviors like not wanting to get out of bed, being irritable and short-tempered, being "hyper" and reckless or overly critical and pessimistic. Our first reaction to these sorts of behaviors and attitudes is to regard them as laziness, meanness, or immaturity and be critical of them. In a person with bipolar disorder, this almost always makes things worse; criticism reinforces the depressed patient's feelings of worthlessness and failure, and it alienates and angers the hypomanic or manic patient. This is a hard lesson to learn. Don't always take behaviors and statements at face value. Learn to ask yourself, "Could this be a symptom?" before you react. Little children frequently say "I hate you" when they are angry at their parents, but good parents know that this is just the anger of the moment talking; those are not their child's true feelings. Manic patients will say "I hate you" too, but this is the illness talking, an illness that has hijacked the patient's emotions. The depressed patient will say, "It's hopeless, I don't want your help." Again, this is the illness and not your loved one rejecting your concern. Now a warning against the other extreme: interpreting every strong emotion in a person with a mood disorder as a symptom. The other extreme is just as important to guard against. It's possible to jump to the conclusion that everything the person with the diagnosis does that might be foolish or risky is a symptom of illness, even to the point where the person is hauled into the psychiatrist's office for a "medication adjustment" every time he or she disagrees with spouse, partner, or parents. A vicious cycle can get going wherein some bold idea or enthusiasm, or even plain old foolishness or stubbornness, is labeled as "getting manic," leading to feelings of anger and resentment in the person with the diagnosis. When these angry feelings get expressed, they seem to confirm the family's suspicion that the person is "getting sick again," leading to more criticism, more anger, and so on. "He's getting sick again" sometimes becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy; so much anger and emotional stress get generated that a relapse DOES occur because the person with the illness stops taking the medication that controls his or her symptoms out of frustration and anger and shame: "Why bother staying well, if I'm always treated as if I were sick?" So how does one walk this fine line between not taking every feeling and behavior at face value in a person with bipolar disorder and not invalidating "real" feelings by calling them symptoms? Communication is the key: honest and open communication. Ask the person with the illness about his or her moods, make observations about behaviors, express concerns in a caring, supportive way. Go along with your family member to doctors' appointments, and share your observations and concerns during the visit in his or her presence. Above all, do not call the therapist or psychiatrist and say, "I don't want my (husband, wife, son, daughter, fill in the blank) to know that I called you, but I think it's important to tell you that..." There's nothing more infuriating or demeaning than to have someone sneaking around reporting on you behind your back. Remember that your goal is to have your family member trust you when he or she feels most vulnerable and fragile. He or she is already dealing with feelings of deep shame, failure, and loss of control related to having a psychiatric illness. Be supportive, and yes, be constructively critical when criticism is warranted. But above all, be open, honest, and sincere. More on Safety- Never forget that bipolar disorder can occassionally precipitate truly dangerous behavior. Kay Jamison writes of the "dark, fierce and damaging energy" of mania, and the even darker specter of suicidal violence haunts those with serious depression. Violence is often a difficult subject to deal with because the idea is deeply imbedded in us from an early age that violence is primitive and uncivilized and represents a kind of failure or breakdown in character.  Of course we recognize that the person in the grip of psychiatric illness is not violent because of some personal failing, and perhaps because of this there is sometimes a hesitation to admit the need for a proper response to a situation that is getting out of control; when there is some threat of violence, toward either self or others. People with bipolar disorder are at much higher risk for suicidal behavior than the general population. Although family members cannot and should not be expected to take the place of psychiatric professionals in evaluating suicide risk, it is important to have some familiarity with the issue. Patients who are starting to have suicidal thoughts are often intensely ashamed of them. They will often hint about "feeling desperate," about "not being able to go on," but may not verbalize actual self-destructive thoughts. It's important not to ignore these statements but rather to clarify them. Don't be afraid to ask, "Are you having thoughts of hurting yourself?" People are usually relieved to be able to talk about these feelings and get them out into the open where they can be dealt with. But they may need permission and support in order to do so. Remember that the period of recovery from a depressive episode can be one of especially high risk for suicidal behavior. People who have been immobilized by depression sometimes develop a higher risk for hurting themselves as they begin to get better and their energy level and ability to act improve. Patients having mixed symptoms - depressed mood and agitated, restless, hyperactive behavior - may also be at higher risk for self-harm. Another factor that increases risk of suicide is substance abuse, especially alcohol abuse. Alcohol not only worsens mood, it lowers inhibitions. People will do things when drunk that they wouldn't do otherwise. Increased use of alcohol increases the risk of suicidal behaviors and is definitely a worrisome development that needs to be confronted and acted upon. Bottom Line- Making peace with the illness is much more difficult than healthy people realize. But the harder lesson is learning that there is no way that anyone can force a person to take responsibility for his or her treatment. Unless the patient makes the commitment to do so, no amount of love and support, sympathy and understanding, cajoling or even threatening, can make someone take this step. Even family members and friends who understand this at some level may feel guilty, inadequate, and angry at times dealing with this situation. These are very normal feelings. Family members and friends should not be ashamed of these feelings of frustration and anger but rather get help with them. Even when the patient does take responsibility and is trying to stay well, relapses can occur. Family members might then wonder what they did wrong. Did I put too much pressure on? Could I have been more supportive? Why didn't I notice the symptoms coming on sooner and get him or her to the doctor? A hundred questions, a thousand "if only's," another round of guilt, frustration, and anger. On the other side of this issue is another set of questions. How much understanding and support for the bipolar person might be too much? What is protective, and what is overprotective? Should you call your loved one's boss with excuses as to why he or she isn't at work? Should you pay off credit card debts from hypomanic spending sprees caused by dropping out of treatment? What actions constitute helping a sick person, and what actions are helping a person to be sick? These are thorny, complex questions that have no easy answers. Like many chronic illnesses, bipolar disorder afflicts one but affects many in the family. It's important that all those affected get the help, support, and encouragement they need.

 

See this Amp at http://amplify.com/u/jqo8

via Amplify.com

Children Of Parents With Mental Illness

Children Of Parents With Mental Illness

Updated December 2008
Click here to download and print a PDF version of this document.

Mental illnesses in parents represent a risk for children in the family. These children have a higher risk for developing mental illnesses than other children. When both parents are mentally ill, the chance is even greater that the child might become mentally ill.

The risk is particularly strong when a parent has one or more of the following: Bipolar Disorder, an anxiety disorder, ADHD, schizophrenia, alcoholism or other drug abuse, or depression. Risk can be inherited from parents, through the genes.

An inconsistent, unpredictable family environment also contributes to psychiatric illness in children. Mental illness of a parent can put stress on the marriage and affect the parenting abilities of the couple, which in turn can harm the child. 

Some protective factors that can decrease the risk to children include: 

• Knowledge that their parent(s) is ill and that they are not to blame
  
• Help and support from family members
  
• A stable home environment
  
• Psychotherapy for the child and the parent(s)
  
• A sense of being loved by the ill parent
  
• A naturally stable personality in the child
  
• Positive self esteem
  
• Inner strength and good coping skills in the child
  
• A strong relationship with a healthy adult
  
• Friendships, positive peer relationships
  
• Interest in and success at school
  
• Healthy interests outside the home for the child
  
• Help from outside the family to improve the family environment (for example, marital psychotherapy or parenting classes)
Medical, mental health or social service professionals working with mentally ill adults need to inquire about the children and adolescents, especially about their mental health and emotional development. If there are serious concerns or questions about a child, it may be helpful to have an evaluation by a qualified mental health professional.

Individual or family psychiatric treatment can help a child toward healthy development, despite the presence of parental psychiatric illness. The child and adolescent psychiatrist can help the family work with the positive elements in the home and the natural strengths of the child. With treatment, the family can learn ways to lessen the effects of the parent's mental illness on the child. 

Unfortunately, families, professionals, and society often pay most attention to the mentally ill parent, and ignore the children in the family. Providing more attention and support to the children of a psychiatrically ill parent is an important consideration when treating the parent.

Joy & Blessings to you~

Remember...Breathe......reflect......respond...

Everything happens for a reason...it somehow in the end all works out~

See this Amp at http://amplify.com/u/jqmo

via Amplify.com

Children Of Parents With Mental Illness

Children Of Parents With Mental Illness

Updated December 2008
Click here to download and print a PDF version of this document.

Mental illnesses in parents represent a risk for children in the family. These children have a higher risk for developing mental illnesses than other children. When both parents are mentally ill, the chance is even greater that the child might become mentally ill.

The risk is particularly strong when a parent has one or more of the following: Bipolar Disorder, an anxiety disorder, ADHD, schizophrenia, alcoholism or other drug abuse, or depression. Risk can be inherited from parents, through the genes.

An inconsistent, unpredictable family environment also contributes to psychiatric illness in children. Mental illness of a parent can put stress on the marriage and affect the parenting abilities of the couple, which in turn can harm the child. 

Some protective factors that can decrease the risk to children include: 

• Knowledge that their parent(s) is ill and that they are not to blame
  
  
• Help and support from family members
  
  
• A stable home environment
  
  
• Psychotherapy for the child and the parent(s)
  
  
• A sense of being loved by the ill parent
  
  
• A naturally stable personality in the child
  
  
• Positive self esteem
  
  
• Inner strength and good coping skills in the child
  
  
• A strong relationship with a healthy adult
  
  
• Friendships, positive peer relationships
  
  
• Interest in and success at school
  
  
• Healthy interests outside the home for the child
  
  
• Help from outside the family to improve the family environment (for example, marital psychotherapy or parenting classes)

Medical, mental health or social service professionals working with mentally ill adults need to inquire about the children and adolescents, especially about their mental health and emotional development. If there are serious concerns or questions about a child, it may be helpful to have an evaluation by a qualified mental health professional.

Individual or family psychiatric treatment can help a child toward healthy development, despite the presence of parental psychiatric illness. The child and adolescent psychiatrist can help the family work with the positive elements in the home and the natural strengths of the child. With treatment, the family can learn ways to lessen the effects of the parent's mental illness on the child. 

Unfortunately, families, professionals, and society often pay most attention to the mentally ill parent, and ignore the children in the family. Providing more attention and support to the children of a psychiatrically ill parent is an important consideration when treating the parent.

Joy & Blessings to you~

Remember...Breathe......reflect......respond...

Everything happens for a reason...it somehow in the end all works out~

See this Amp at http://amplify.com/u/jqmo

Top 10 Victories on Change.org in 2010

1. Craigslist stops enabling sex trafficking Change.org members teamed up with anti-trafficking groups in a massive campaign to get Cragislist to shut down their "adult services" sections, which had become the biggest source of ads for sex trafficking victims in the world. After 11,612 Change.org members signed a petition to founder Craig Newmark and a coordinated campaign published letters of protest from girls formerly sold for sex on the site, Craigslist shut down their U.S. based adult ad pages in September -- leading to a 48% drop in the overall volume of prostitution ads online and shrinking the online commercial sex industry by a projected $37 million this year. 2. Gay teacher reinstated in Oregon Seth Stambaugh was a 23-year-old education major assigned to student teach a fourth grade class at the Beaverton School District near Portland, Oregon. After a student asked if he was married, Seth replied that because he was gay, it would be illegal for him to wed in the state. Seth was subsequently removed from the classroom when his comment was deemed "inappropriate" by the district. Over the span of the next three weeks, more than 5,000 Change.org members -- many of them parents in the district -- emailed the district's superintendent, demanding that he be allowed to teach - and won. As Seth wrote to Change.org members, "It worked! I am back in my original classroom and am thrilled every day that I get to go there." 3. Drug export banned in the U.K., executions delayed in the U.S. You can't kill by lethal injection without sodium thiopental, used to put the victims in a coma before two poisons are administered to kill them. So when the sole American provider ran out of its supply, states like Arizona and California turned to a British company that manufactured the same drug. But Change.org members lobbied British Business Minister Vincent Cable via his personal email address, and successfully compelled him to ban the sale under an old law that forbids the export of "execution equipment" like guillotines. Executions across the U.S. continue to be delayed because of the shortage. 4. Oakland police pledge to end violence against dogs Mary Kate Hallock returned to her home one afternoon to find that Oakland police -- the same force that gunned down eight dogs last year -- had shot and killed her 11-year-old yellow lab in her own backyard. Refusing to wait for another incident, nearly 2,000 Change.org members demanded action to stop the unnecessary shootings. Soon after, the Oakland P.D. announced a partnership with an East Bay animal protection group for a program to train officers in animal handling and behavior. After a rash of animal shootings by police nationwide this year, the Oakland program now serves as a model for other communities. 5. Student rescued from detention and deportation Twenty-year-old Steve Li, whose parents had brought him to the U.S. from Peru at a young age, didn't even know he was undocumented until immigration authorities showed up at his door, brought him from California to Arizona, and locked him in a detention center. Just before he was to be deported, his classmates at the City College of San Francisco rallied to win his freedom, launching a petition on Change.org targeting Sen. Diane Feinstein and Speaker Nancy Pelosi. Hundreds of friends and supporters signed, and the two lawmakers passed a bill specifically delaying Li's deportation. As the DREAM Act -- legislation to give undocumented students brought to the U.S as minors a path to American citizenship -- languished in Congress, friends and family successfully ran campaigns on Change.org again and again this year to free detained students like Li. See victories 6-10 on our "Top Ten Victories of 2010" list. Happy New Year! – The Change.org Team See this Amp at http://amplify.com/u/jpa0 P.S. spread the word: share our victories on Facebook!

Global human trafficking roundup (December 24, 2010) - National Human Rights

NORTH AMERICA

New York: A jury awarded more than two million dollars after being forced to work for $50 a week at a temple for seven years. Before coming into America, he was promised $500 a week salary and free room and board as a minister at the temple. However, he was forced to work days as long as 18 hours doing all matters of tasks including ministering, construction work, janitorial work, etc. 

District of Columbia: House passed domestic sex trafficking bill on Tuesday night, but it was not passed Senate because of the amendment attached to it, which made it differed from the Senate bill. The bill, if implemented, would have established shelters in six regions and provided treatment and counseling to human trafficking victims. 

Ohio: Governor signs a new human trafficking bill into a law. The new legislation will provide law enforcement to crack down on sex trafficking and forced labor. It will also make human trafficking a second degree, stand alone felony with stronger penalties. 

ASIA

Australia: More than 300 Indonesian teenagers are arrested in Australia for human trafficking. They were exploited with labor on ferry as illegal crews with no proper salaries. They are only allowed a little allowance and food. 

Thailand: A 17 year old was arrested for pimping on younger girls. According to the police she allegedly sold girls in the age between 15 and 17 into prostitution to men, including government officials. The arrest was made after she offered prostitution of young girls to undercover cops in exchange of money. She was in charge of thirty teenagers according to the police. 

AFRICA

Nigeria: The authority said that plan to rescue Nigerian sex slaves from Mali failed. Investigators announced earlier this year that at least 20,000 women and children were smuggled into Mali for forced prostitution. A joint effort between Nigerian and Mali officials was launched to rescue the victims, but it failed due to not enough cooperation from Mali officials, according to Nigerian officials. 

 

Starting January 2011, Global human trafficking roundup will be published on globalhtnews.blogspot.com/. Thank you so much for your readership. 

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Please Follow Purple Hearts 4 Butterflies on Tumblr, Blogspot, Posterous, Amplify and Networked Blogs

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http://purplehearts4butterflies.blogspot.com/

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http://purplehearts4butterflies.amplify.com/                         

 

 

 

Please follow for Resources, sharing, caring and praying for those of Domestic Violence, Sexual Assault, Rape and Adult Children of Child Abuse. Also to share your experiences, wisdom, things learned, joys, various meetings, meet up groups or Churches that have programs that help. 

This is getting so bad in "Christian", "Catholic", "Jewish", "Religious" homes and it has to STOP! Awareness NEEDS to get out the CHURCHED! God does not expect us to be "bullied, beat, hit, or threatened". We wants peace and freedom and respect for people and families.

 Thank you.

 

Treating Trauma from a MIND/BODY perspective

by ALISON LEIGH SIEGEL MFT on FEBRUARY 10, 2010

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Treating trauma from a mind/body perspective is the key to unfolding the process of the traumatic effects of sexual and emotional abuse. Current research in neurobiology point to the physiological connection between how emotional affects increase arousal in the body which then in turn create physical issues like chronic tension and other ailments like autoimmune disorders.

Since there is evidence that both mind (what we think) and body (what we feel) are in fact scientifically connected, we know that to treat trauma both mind and body must be addressed. However, even though this is true, only some are able to get this kind of treatment either because of lack of knowledge about its availability or simply because it just doesn’t exist.

That is where I come in. My mission in this lifetime is to bring this treatment to each of you in a way that you can use it to empower and heal yourself. Because there are multiple ways of peeling this onion, we need to put take each layer and go slowly. Every post I will go through some technique or application that I feel would be useful for you to do at home. To begin, I will  give you a mind/body writing exercise to to help you focus on your physical, emotional and cognitive history.  A body map in a sense that you can use to detail your bodily experience through specific times in your life. This exercise might also help you get adjusted to the present tense at the same time as giving some credit to the past even though it might be painful. Before you begin, you should know that this process will or could unleash some emotions, but please try and welcome them  as they are releasing from your system and can be addressed more easily in the present moment. One last word before we begin. In giving you any kind of therapeutic help/tips, I in no way intend to cure, treat or heal  any one person. I am not acting as your therapist nor am I advising or prescribing any treatment to anyone but merely suggesting these exercises have been helpful for numerous clientele. I am sharing these with you first hand because of Angela and her network of fierce women. I hope you understand, however if you should have or want an emotional release bodywork session or wish to contact me, I am available for appointments by phone, skype and in person in my San Francisco office during the weekdays Monday through Friday 9-5. http://www.alisonleigh.net/resume.html

415-377-9851

NOW- to get you started on the road to recovery, we are going to begin with a body map, both physical and emotional.

“Seeing is believing but feeling, now that is exceptional. ” als

1)PHYSICAL BODY MAPPING JOURNEY™ exercise by Alison Leigh, MFT

Take out a sheet of paper and write down your “physical body journey”. This is  a chronology of your body from the very beginning of time. It includes *facts* not feelings. It also includes *objectivity* , meaning your describing a narrative of what you saw from a perspective *about* your body. Similar to your seeing your body from another perspective. In other words, you didn’t feel it, but you saw it, you observed it. “I saw my body growing, I saw my body moving faster than the boys, “i noticed my  physical appearance as (insert here). It might sound something like,  “my body came out of my mom at 7.4 lbs”. “When i was 8, i remember jumping, climbing trees and running around with my brother”. Write down your active moments, your non-active times, and everytime in between. Write down times you or another used or abused your body. “she did this to me, or he did that to me”.  Or, perhaps you were inactive but used your body to do simple things, like play board games.  It may sound like this, “I remember playing chess with my grandfather but I was not into sports much”. Remember to include physical injuries and how they made you feel plus physical victories, (do you remember getting taller?  Stronger? Sexier?). If you find this exercise too overwhelming, then just choose one year of your life or maybe even one day.  You could choose a decade or from a particular age like 13-20, or your entire 35th year. So, again, you are writing from *just* a physical bodily perspective. It would be as if your body was talking and writing the story herself.

2) After you are done, email it to me or a friend and discuss. You would be surprised how much you get out of this exercise.(askalisonleigh@gmail.com)

3) EMOTIONAL BODY MAPPING JOURNEY exercise™ by Alison Leigh, MFT

Now, I would like you to do the same here, but this time, either choose the same time period as you did earlier, or you can choose a new one. Describe in detail the emotional body feelings you had during that time. You might say something like, “I felt hopeless, I had feelings of despair”. Or you might say, “It was the first time in my life I felt love and I felt it all over my body”. Remember to note *where* in your body you felt it. People feel their feelings everywhere or sometimes in a specific place. Even, sometimes they don’t or can’t locate them. That is okay. Try anyway. If that doesn’t work, you can just say, “I felt it but didn’t know where”. In contrast, there are feelings that aren’t felt, called, “numbness”. That is where you might tend to disappear, dissociate and forget. If that happened, that is okay too. Just stay with that. Don’t try and change the past just note it. Saying what was in the past won’t hurt you now, it just names the fact as it *was* without a label. (unless you put one there) Remember while writing that often times there will be two voices speaking at once. One will be the cognitive (brain) talking. That is the one who tells the story, no matter how you feel, that is the author. Then, there is the emotional body story teller who tells the story of how it feels, instead of *what* happened. Sometimes, the two get mixed up and it’s all confusing. That is why I’m separating them here. This way, you get a fresh perspective on both ends. You will hear from your physical body as well as your cognitive mind. The cognitive mind often times does not get along with the physical body voice so often times people have challenges in that area. Your body’s words might say, “I liked what he was doing to me”, and your cognitive words  might say, “I hated what he was doing”. In anycase, just write down your feelings, and just note your thoughts about that. Should you have any questions, please let me know. Until then, enjoy your process and be open to what you might find. I believe it might help heal you.

askalisonleigh

alison

See this Amp at http://amplify.com/u/icpw

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Treating Trauma from a MIND/BODY perspective

by ALISON LEIGH SIEGEL MFT on FEBRUARY 10, 2010

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Treating trauma from a mind/body perspective is the key to unfolding the process of the traumatic effects of sexual and emotional abuse. Current research in neurobiology point to the physiological connection between how emotional affects increase arousal in the body which then in turn create physical issues like chronic tension and other ailments like autoimmune disorders.



Since there is evidence that both mind (what we think) and body (what we feel) are in fact scientifically connected, we know that to treat trauma both mind and body must be addressed. However, even though this is true, only some are able to get this kind of treatment either because of lack of knowledge about its availability or simply because it just doesn’t exist.



That is where I come in. My mission in this lifetime is to bring this treatment to each of you in a way that you can use it to empower and heal yourself. Because there are multiple ways of peeling this onion, we need to put take each layer and go slowly. Every post I will go through some technique or application that I feel would be useful for you to do at home. To begin, I will  give you a mind/body writing exercise to to help you focus on your physical, emotional and cognitive history.  A body map in a sense that you can use to detail your bodily experience through specific times in your life. This exercise might also help you get adjusted to the present tense at the same time as giving some credit to the past even though it might be painful. Before you begin, you should know that this process will or could unleash some emotions, but please try and welcome them  as they are releasing from your system and can be addressed more easily in the present moment. One last word before we begin. In giving you any kind of therapeutic help/tips, I in no way intend to cure, treat or heal  any one person. I am not acting as your therapist nor am I advising or prescribing any treatment to anyone but merely suggesting these exercises have been helpful for numerous clientele. I am sharing these with you first hand because of Angela and her network of fierce women. I hope you understand, however if you should have or want an emotional release bodywork session or wish to contact me, I am available for appointments by phone, skype and in person in my San Francisco office during the weekdays Monday through Friday 9-5. http://www.alisonleigh.net/resume.html



415-377-9851



NOW- to get you started on the road to recovery, we are going to begin with a body map, both physical and emotional.



“Seeing is believing but feeling, now that is exceptional. ” als

1)PHYSICAL BODY MAPPING JOURNEY™ exercise by Alison Leigh, MFT

Take out a sheet of paper and write down your “physical body journey”. This is  a chronology of your body from the very beginning of time. It includes *facts* not feelings. It also includes *objectivity* , meaning your describing a narrative of what you saw from a perspective *about* your body. Similar to your seeing your body from another perspective. In other words, you didn’t feel it, but you saw it, you observed it. “I saw my body growing, I saw my body moving faster than the boys, “i noticed my  physical appearance as (insert here). It might sound something like,  “my body came out of my mom at 7.4 lbs”. “When i was 8, i remember jumping, climbing trees and running around with my brother”. Write down your active moments, your non-active times, and everytime in between. Write down times you or another used or abused your body. “she did this to me, or he did that to me”.  Or, perhaps you were inactive but used your body to do simple things, like play board games.  It may sound like this, “I remember playing chess with my grandfather but I was not into sports much”. Remember to include physical injuries and how they made you feel plus physical victories, (do you remember getting taller?  Stronger? Sexier?). If you find this exercise too overwhelming, then just choose one year of your life or maybe even one day.  You could choose a decade or from a particular age like 13-20, or your entire 35th year. So, again, you are writing from *just* a physical bodily perspective. It would be as if your body was talking and writing the story herself.



2) After you are done, email it to me or a friend and discuss. You would be surprised how much you get out of this exercise.(askalisonleigh@gmail.com)

3) EMOTIONAL BODY MAPPING JOURNEY exercise™ by Alison Leigh, MFT

Now, I would like you to do the same here, but this time, either choose the same time period as you did earlier, or you can choose a new one. Describe in detail the emotional body feelings you had during that time. You might say something like, “I felt hopeless, I had feelings of despair”. Or you might say, “It was the first time in my life I felt love and I felt it all over my body”. Remember to note *where* in your body you felt it. People feel their feelings everywhere or sometimes in a specific place. Even, sometimes they don’t or can’t locate them. That is okay. Try anyway. If that doesn’t work, you can just say, “I felt it but didn’t know where”. In contrast, there are feelings that aren’t felt, called, “numbness”. That is where you might tend to disappear, dissociate and forget. If that happened, that is okay too. Just stay with that. Don’t try and change the past just note it. Saying what was in the past won’t hurt you now, it just names the fact as it *was* without a label. (unless you put one there) Remember while writing that often times there will be two voices speaking at once. One will be the cognitive (brain) talking. That is the one who tells the story, no matter how you feel, that is the author. Then, there is the emotional body story teller who tells the story of how it feels, instead of *what* happened. Sometimes, the two get mixed up and it’s all confusing. That is why I’m separating them here. This way, you get a fresh perspective on both ends. You will hear from your physical body as well as your cognitive mind. The cognitive mind often times does not get along with the physical body voice so often times people have challenges in that area. Your body’s words might say, “I liked what he was doing to me”, and your cognitive words  might say, “I hated what he was doing”. In anycase, just write down your feelings, and just note your thoughts about that. Should you have any questions, please let me know. Until then, enjoy your process and be open to what you might find. I believe it might help heal you.



askalisonleigh



alison

See this Amp at http://amplify.com/u/icpw

WHAT!?! You want me to do what!?!

by CHRISTINA SAPIEN on AUGUST 21, 2010

23Share

Have you ever doubted yourself?  Like truly doubted yourself, your abilities, and your purpose in life?  I have been going through some personal and professional difficulties and have been feeling pulled by something beyond myself.  It takes complete trust to continue on the path that I am on right now.  I have doubted myself so many times in life.  And even now when I begin to have these doubts, my stomach clenches, my heart races and I feel fearful.  The interesting thing is that shortly after I feel that, I get a peaceful feeling telling me that I will be alright.  Where does that feeling come from?  I have to explore all of my options, one of them being that I might be delusional. I don’t really want to explore that option, however it is a possibility. So I explore other options.  Is it me?  Could it be my inner self, my mind or maybe my higher power?

We have all had situations where our “gut” tells us something or we just don’t “feel” right.  I believe that is our intuition.  And by intuition, I mean “something” within us that is helping and guiding us to make the best decisions for ourselves.  Alright, I get that and I know that we’ve all felt that however why is it that we often don’t listen?  I have definitely had feelings about men or other situations in life or about men.   I knew I should run far away, however I ignored that nagging feeling and continued to do what I wanted to do.  I even had a dream where there were police and warning signals telling me to stay away.  Did I listen? No, of course not, because that wasn’t something I wanted to hear.

These messages are all around us.  We get messages in our dreams, our bodies and our hearts, we may even get physical signs that we just ignore because we are either not ready or fearful about listening.  So here’s a story, I love to write and have been writing in a journal since I was a kid.  I have been feeling like I need to start writing again and to be completely honest, I was actually scared about writing (self-doubt crept in).  So this past Monday, I took my dogs for a walk (actually they took me for a walk) and about 4 houses down, in the middle of the sidewalk, was a big beautiful desk, for free!  Now, did a desk really need to be put in the middle of my path for me to get the message to start writing?  No, not necessarily but it was pretty cool.

Life is amazing, look around and listen.  You never know what you might hear but you have to be open to the messages that are coming from within you and all around you. Sometimes we haven’t listened for so long that all we hear are whispers or nothing at all.  If that is the case, I recommend spending time all alone (which can be tortuous, I know, however so necessary) to get to know yourself. Truly get to know yourself.  Sometimes we have to actively listen to ourselves and work that part of ourselves out. It takes patience and practice.

See this Amp at http://amplify.com/u/icpu

via Amplify.com

WHAT!?! You want me to do what!?!

by CHRISTINA SAPIEN on AUGUST 21, 2010

23Share

Have you ever doubted yourself?  Like truly doubted yourself, your abilities, and your purpose in life?  I have been going through some personal and professional difficulties and have been feeling pulled by something beyond myself.  It takes complete trust to continue on the path that I am on right now.  I have doubted myself so many times in life.  And even now when I begin to have these doubts, my stomach clenches, my heart races and I feel fearful.  The interesting thing is that shortly after I feel that, I get a peaceful feeling telling me that I will be alright.  Where does that feeling come from?  I have to explore all of my options, one of them being that I might be delusional. I don’t really want to explore that option, however it is a possibility. So I explore other options.  Is it me?  Could it be my inner self, my mind or maybe my higher power?



We have all had situations where our “gut” tells us something or we just don’t “feel” right.  I believe that is our intuition.  And by intuition, I mean “something” within us that is helping and guiding us to make the best decisions for ourselves.  Alright, I get that and I know that we’ve all felt that however why is it that we often don’t listen?  I have definitely had feelings about men or other situations in life or about men.   I knew I should run far away, however I ignored that nagging feeling and continued to do what I wanted to do.  I even had a dream where there were police and warning signals telling me to stay away.  Did I listen? No, of course not, because that wasn’t something I wanted to hear.



These messages are all around us.  We get messages in our dreams, our bodies and our hearts, we may even get physical signs that we just ignore because we are either not ready or fearful about listening.  So here’s a story, I love to write and have been writing in a journal since I was a kid.  I have been feeling like I need to start writing again and to be completely honest, I was actually scared about writing (self-doubt crept in).  So this past Monday, I took my dogs for a walk (actually they took me for a walk) and about 4 houses down, in the middle of the sidewalk, was a big beautiful desk, for free!  Now, did a desk really need to be put in the middle of my path for me to get the message to start writing?  No, not necessarily but it was pretty cool.



Life is amazing, look around and listen.  You never know what you might hear but you have to be open to the messages that are coming from within you and all around you. Sometimes we haven’t listened for so long that all we hear are whispers or nothing at all.  If that is the case, I recommend spending time all alone (which can be tortuous, I know, however so necessary) to get to know yourself. Truly get to know yourself.  Sometimes we have to actively listen to ourselves and work that part of ourselves out. It takes patience and practice.

See this Amp at http://amplify.com/u/icpu

If you are in danger: Internet and Computer Safety

Internet and Computer Safety

If you are in danger, please try to use a safer computer that someone abusive does not have direct or remote (hacking) access to.

• If you think your activities are being monitored, they probably are. Abusive people are often controlling and want to know your every move. You don’t need to be a computer programmer or have special skills to monitor someone’s computer and Internet activities – anyone can do it and there are many ways to monitor with programs like Spyware, keystroke loggers and hacking tools.


• It is not possible to delete or clear all the “footprints" of your computer or online activities. If you are being monitored, it may be dangerous to change your computer behaviors such as suddenly deleting your entire Internet history if that is not your regular habit.


• If you think you may be monitored on your home computer, be careful how you use your computer since an abuser might become suspicious. You may want to keep using the monitored computer for innocuous activities, like looking up the weather. Use a safer computer to research an escape plan, look for new jobs or apartments, bus tickets, or ask for help.


• Email and Instant/Text Messaging (IM) are not safe or confidential ways to talk to someone about the danger or abuse in your life. If possible, please call a hotline instead. If you use email or IM, please use a safer computer and an account your abuser does not know about.


• Computers can store a lot of private information about what you look at via the Internet, the emails and instant messages you send, internet-based phone and IP-TTY calls you make, web-based purchases and banking, and many other activities.


• It might be safer to use a computer in a public library, at a community technology center (CTC) at a trusted friend’s house, or an Internet Café.

See this Amp at http://amplify.com/u/icpp

via Amplify.com

If you are in danger: Internet and Computer Safety

Internet and Computer Safety

If you are in danger, please try to use a safer computer that someone abusive does not have direct or remote (hacking) access to.

• If you think your activities are being monitored, they probably are. Abusive people are often controlling and want to know your every move. You don’t need to be a computer programmer or have special skills to monitor someone’s computer and Internet activities – anyone can do it and there are many ways to monitor with programs like Spyware, keystroke loggers and hacking tools.



• It is not possible to delete or clear all the “footprints" of your computer or online activities. If you are being monitored, it may be dangerous to change your computer behaviors such as suddenly deleting your entire Internet history if that is not your regular habit.



• If you think you may be monitored on your home computer, be careful how you use your computer since an abuser might become suspicious. You may want to keep using the monitored computer for innocuous activities, like looking up the weather. Use a safer computer to research an escape plan, look for new jobs or apartments, bus tickets, or ask for help.



• Email and Instant/Text Messaging (IM) are not safe or confidential ways to talk to someone about the danger or abuse in your life. If possible, please call a hotline instead. If you use email or IM, please use a safer computer and an account your abuser does not know about.



• Computers can store a lot of private information about what you look at via the Internet, the emails and instant messages you send, internet-based phone and IP-TTY calls you make, web-based purchases and banking, and many other activities.



• It might be safer to use a computer in a public library, at a community technology center (CTC) at a trusted friend’s house, or an Internet Café.

See this Amp at http://amplify.com/u/icpp

From Surviving to Thriving on the Journey to Wholeness

by DARLENEOUIMET on APRIL 26, 2010 35Share

Darlene Ouimet CTACC

I am so excited to have been invited to be a contributor to this amazing network.  As a result of sexual abuse, I developed dissociated identity disorder and started to have serious depressions by the age of ten. I was struggling with an eating disorder, drug addiction and alcohol dependency by the age of 16.  I found some help for addictions when I was 23 and managed to get married and have 3 children but the dissociative identity and depressions got worse as the kids started to grow.

Feeling worthless and giving up all hope I started to make plans to leave my husband and 3 young children. I confided in my friend who convinced me to try therapy one more time.  I had nothing to lose this time and I didn’t hold back anything in my sessions. My therapist used a model of causal therapy; looking at the roots of the trauma and how my belief system was full of false things I believed were truth. The details of my life came out and through the process of recovery I realized that many things in my life had contributed to the serious problems I was having. I believed hundreds of lies that were fed to me and the therapy process became one of realizing what those lies were, where they were born and then replacing them with the truth.  I got stronger and began to see light at the end of the tunnel. In the end it was the truth that set me free and I got my life and my identity back.

I made a complete recovery from dissociated identity (including multiple personality disorder) and chronic depressions. I went back to school and got my certification in life coaching with a specialty in relationships. I developed a passion to share my process.  I was invited to be a regular inspirational speaker at mental health seminars accepted an invitation to join that counseling firm as the Director of Client Relations.

Today as a mental health advocate, what I bring to the community of survivors of any kind of abuse or mental health struggle is a message of hope and a new way of looking at the past in order to move forward. Realizing the impact I was having on clients at the seminars that I was speaking at, I decided to increase my reach, and start sharing my story and recovery on the internet. My blog “Emerging from Broken” has quickly become popular in the survivor community.  My co-author Carla Dippel and I offer unique insights and have a way of cutting through the false beliefs that victims of abuse hold deeply in their hearts inspiring healing and hope for wholeness.

I look forward to meeting you and to sharing recovery on the journey to wholeness.

Darlene Ouimet

See this Amp at http://amplify.com/u/icpm

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